Inexperienced
by findy0urself
Summary: Brooke never wanted to feel this empty and alone again, yet here she is, reliving a past mistake that she thought was ancient history. This time around, the wounds are much deeper, and like it or not, lives will change forever. BRUCAS.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything.

**Author's Note**: This is my very first fan fiction, so be gentle. The story takes place after the season 3 finale. I will mention a few key moments in the past season(s), but for the most part, it's my imagination roaming free. The main character is Brooke, but the BRUCAS saga (as well as other Tree Hill characters) will be included as well. All I ask is that you try to keep an open mind. If you're confused about anything at any point, please, ask me! Thanks for reading, and as always, comments, feedback and criticism is appreciated!

:: INEXPERIENCED ::

**#1.**

With a pair of high heals dangling from her delicate fingers, a barefoot Brooke gradually made her way up the long flight of stairs. Several miles back, after she had tolerated the throbbing ache in her feet for far too long, she had taken off her overly priced, pain inflicting stilettos. She swore to herself that if she made it back in one piece, she'd never buy a pair of shoes like _that_ ever again. Not until the pain subsided and she remembered how much she adored shoes, anyway.

"These blisters are going to be the death of me!" Brooke hissed once she finally made it to her doorstep and began to carefully inspect the new additions to her perfectly pedicured toes. _Son of a bitch. These hurt! _She cursed the fact that she refused to let Lucas take her home and had decided to walk those five miles to her apartment. Why did she have to be so stubborn, and where did her purse go, anyway? She still couldn't figure that out. She left it unattended at the reception, and due to her "smart" idea of making everyone in the wedding party the same bag, hers got lost in the shuffle. When she left (snuck out), her head was attempting to shuffle through all of the feelings she was experiencing. Unfortunately, she completely forgot that she was looking for it in the first place and how important the contents really were. Like her house key, among other things. Luckily, she never left her place without a spare key. Call it a force of habit. During many moments of her teenage life, that she really wasn't proud of, it wasn't uncommon for her to stay the night at random places with random people: boys in particular. It only took one instance where she got locked outside at three in the morning to smarten her up. That's it. She quickly learned early on that it was a good idea to keep a spare with her. Using her free hand, she reached into her "secret hiding place" which was located directly between her two breasts and found her spare key. _See, I always told my mother that my breasts would save my life one day, _Brooke grinned, _and I was right. _She laughed to herself, feeling a fleeting moment of happiness surge through her body. It felt foreign. For a brief moment, she remembered how good it felt to smile. That same welcomed smile that gently played on her lips quickly turned into a frown when she remembered just how screwed up her family dynamics truly were. _Just one more reason to feel alone in this big world, _Brooke sighed deeply, as she attempted to push her feelings aside, as usual.

_I can't wait to get this dress off,_ Brooke thought and she forcefully shoved her way through the door to her apartment. _Who actually chooses red as their color scheme for their bridesmaid's dresses, anyway? _Almost immediately after those thoughts crossed her mind, she regretted it. She regretted thinking negatively about two of her best friends and the love they shared. In all honesty, her thoughts weren't meant to be rude or cruel. Nathan and Haley's wedding was picturesque, but she knew that if she had to wear this dress for one more second, she might loose her mind, and only she knew why. Unfortunately for the lovely red dress, today, Brooke wanted nothing more than to take a scissor and cut the bright red material into a thousand pieces. Blinded by hurt and jealously, she knew it had to be destroyed. At that moment, she couldn't stand the dress, and she hated what it symbolized: love. _Love was a lie. Everyone lies. Even the supposed good guy lies. _But what Brooke truly hated was how the dress seemed to scream, "Look at me! My boyfriend and my best friend are in love! I'm a fraud! My entire relationship is one big lie, and I am the idiot who fell for it…again!" Everyone in Tree Hill knew that Brooke loved to be noticed and the added attention that many of her provocative outfits brought. She loved to make a statement; no matter how bold it was. Today shouldn't have been any different. She knew she looked good, great even, but after the recent events that took place within the last twenty-four hours, she didn't feel like herself. She felt like a fool, yet again and quite frankly, she was sick of it. The monstrous love-triangle-of-hell had sucked all three of them back in, and with it, shattered what little bit of her heart was left.

In the days prior to the wedding, Brooke was filled with so much hope. Hope for love to stay true for Haley and Nathan. She also held onto hope for her and Lucas. Lately, their relationship had really taken a turn towards happily-ever-after. Brooke was beginning to realize the intensity of the love that was steadily growing in her heart, and that was incredibly difficult for her. Over the course of their relationship, she had been attempting to work through her insecurities with their relationship. In an attempt to reassure her further, Lucas went above and beyond his abilities to prove she was the only girl for him. He even went as far as proclaiming his undying love for her in the rain! It was almost a fairy-tale come true. _Almost._ As much as she loved him, and wanted to trust him, let's be honest: he hurt her beyond recognition last time. _Last time. _There never should've been a last time. She had sworn to herself that she would never feel that way again. That devastated; that alone, but her worst fears came true, and her world fell out from underneath her once again.

Once Brooke reached her bedroom, she closed the door tightly behind her. Suddenly, as if a dam broke, all of her defenses came crashing down. She was no longer trying to be strong. She couldn't put up her tough-girl front anymore. She was a real, living, breathing, girl, and the pain and heartache that she was feeling was real. Bursting into tears, she fell to the ground. Her knees automatically rose tightly to her chest, as if she was trying to protect herself, and she was, but it wouldn't do any good. The harm had been inflicted, and Brooke knew that she would never, ever be the same. After a good 30 minute cry, Brooke attempted to pull herself off the floor. Weak and shaking from crying so whole-heartedly, she almost tumbled to the ground again. A lack of food and the mental exhaustion that tortured her recently had suddenly paid a toll on her body. Steadying herself against the wall, she attempted to unzip her dress. After two unsuccessful tries with an unsteady hand, the dress finally slipped off her body and onto the floor in a neat, circular pile of fabric. Even though her eyes were still watering and puffy, she could see little reminders of Lucas all around her room. His gym bag was slumped over a chair; he left his hoodie on her bed; her nightstand held several pictures of them together, smiling brightly into the camera. Looking at those pictures, she tried with all of her might to remember just how good she felt, but it seemed like nothing more than a distant memory. Sighing, Brooke carelessly flopped down onto her unbelievably comfortable twin bed, getting lost between the soft folds of linen. She then closed her eyes tightly, hoping and praying that the last few days had been one horrible nightmare. Gradually opening her eyes, as if to peek, the one and only thing she saw was that red dress on the floor. _The girl behind the red door hates red. How ironic. _Brooke sneered. _It wasn't a dream. Nope, of course not. I'm not that lucky, _Brooke cursed herself. Why did she have all the bad luck? What did she ever do to deserve this…again? _I must've been a really horrible person in a past life. _Rolling onto her side, she saw _it_: his signature hoodie. It was calling to her like a bad habit. A habit that she knew she needed. She needed her fix. Eagerly reaching for the soft material, she brought it to her face. Inhaling deeply, she smelt him. Goosebumps cascaded over her body. Momentarily, every inch of her body longed for him, and even if it was only for that second, she felt it. Want and desire but not only physically. Hell, their sex was always indescribable, but right now, the only part of Lucas that she wanted was _him_. Sadly, at this point, she didn't know if that would ever be possible. For him or for her.

"Ugh! Get a hold of yourself! You disgust me." She spoke these tortured words to no one but herself. Throwing the hoodie to the floor, she robotically stood up and lazily made her way to the bathroom. _A nice warm shower would probably do me a lot of good. _"Ahhh" Brooke gasped aloud as the warm water pulsating over her naked body. It felt incredible. Oddly enough, it was almost as if the water was washing away all the guilt, fear, anger, and resentment that she was holding on to. Almost.

- **begin flashback -**

Lucas: I, just, need you to believe me when I tell you my heart is with you. But a part of me feels like ever since we got back together, you've just been waiting to push me away.

Brooke: Oh, great. You kiss Peyton, again, and I'm pushing you away.

Lucas: I love you, Brooke. I don't know how else to say it.

Brooke: How about the way you show it? I am not pushing you away, Lucas, I'm holding on for dear life. But I need you to need me back, okay? Why didn't you tell me about the kiss? And why didn't you call me while you were away? And why won't you ever just let me all the way in? (pause) We have to go give our speeches now. About love and happiness.

Lucas: Please don't be mad, Brooke

Brooke: I'm not mad, Luke. I'm not mad.

- **end flashback -**

Standing there in the shower, exposed and vulnerable, Brooke relived the fight that her and Lucas had shared earlier. She silently cursed herself for downplaying how she really felt. _I was mad. _Brooke thought, _I was mad as hell, and I should've told him that. He should know that I'm mad that he lied to me. I'm mad that I trusted him with my heart. I'm mad that I fell in love all over again, and most importantly I'm mad that I'm back in this bitter place in my life. He should've known. He just should've, _Brooke thought as she shook her head disapprovingly. Why did everything always seem so much clearer when she wasn't in the heat of the moment? Why couldn't she fully express herself when it really mattered, without coming across and whiny and needy? Why couldn't she let her own feelings matter? Why did she feel like _she _didn't matter? Replaying his words in her head, one by one, every word he uttered cut like a knife. Why? He was right. Lucas Scott, the love her life, was right on target. She probably had been pushing him away, but not on purpose. No, she didn't mean to pull away, but without thinking, she had distanced herself; protected herself. In her heart, she really did love him more than life itself, but if there's one thing that Brooke Davis knew, it was that she never, ever wanted to feel the agony and hurt of betrayal again. Somehow, she knew it was coming, and she had been right all along. Attempting to deal with the feelings surrounding the betrayal; remembering the last kiss they shared; dismissing the promises left unkempt. Everything, all of it, was almost more painful the second time around. When she didn't have the adrenaline behind her, and when she didn't have the strength to be furious. At this point, she was physically and emotionally drained. She didn't have it in her to fight anymore, and for once, she wished she didn't have to. She wanted to give in. She wanted to simply surrender. _You win, love. You beat me. It's too hard. I thought I was stronger than this. I thought I could handle heartbreak, but I was wrong. Love, you destroyed me once again. My heart can't take it anymore. I don't have anything left. Not a thing. _Brooke's sobs and steady stream of tears were muffled by the noisy showerhead that Lucas had promised to fix. _Another promise broken._

After turning off the shower, Brooke opened up the curtain only to be taken aback by what she saw. On the mirror, amidst the fog the shower had created, a message was scribbled. "I love you". These three simple words were obviously written by Lucas. It was almost like fate was sending her a message and it was a cruel one at that. _Goddamnit! Why can't he just let me be mad?_ She hated the fact that he could get under her skin so easily. Sure, he had probably written this long before she had any clue that he had kissed his "precious Peyton". _It was probably written out of guilt._ She wasn't ready to forgive him. Not even close. It was going to take a lot more than an "I love you" to save their relationship. At this point, she didn't know if she wanted to save it. She didn't know if she was willing to risk the small portion of her heart that was still beating.

Realizing that she had forgotten to grab a towel, Brooke carefully jumped from rug to rug until she reached the linen cabinet. Flinging the doors wide open, she hurriedly grabbed for the thickest towel she owned. Pulling it forcefully from the stack, she accidentally knocked a few miscellaneous items to the ground. After wrapping her small frame in the fluffy pink towel, she bent down to pick up the mess she created. Q-tips, tampons, mascara, and a pregnancy test were among the objects. _Pregnancy test. _She had somehow forgotten about her impeding pregnancy. Well, maybe forgot is the wrong word. How do you forget about something that is so life-altering? Something that could impact your future so prominently? You don't, but Brooke had so many other things flying through her head, that a possibility of a baby seemed unheard-of. She had pushed the notion far, far away. Between making Haley's wedding dress, attempting to keep up with all of her maid-of-honor duties, questioning her relationship with Lucas, and wondering why he hadn't called her in days, Brooke figured her period was late due to stress. It made sense. She _was_ stressed. Besides, she couldn't even imagine having a baby. She still couldn't, and the entire notion seemed impossible, especially now, considering the uncertain circumstances in her life. Unfortunately her period still hadn't come. It was due over three weeks ago, so she had bought a test. She figured she'd take it "eventually", whatever _that_ means. She was completely in denial over the whole idea. Even now, as she stood with the test in her hand, it seemed like a dream. She wanted desperately to wake up. _As if my day hasn't been bad enough,_ Brooke thought as she contemplated the idea of taking the test right then and there. Glancing down at the box in her hand, she knew what needed to be done. She had put it off long enough, and she had decisions to make. Regardless of what results the test revealed, her life would undoubtedly change. Whether or not she was pregnant, she knew she needed to reevaluate her life and the direction it was headed. She didn't like where her life was going and desperately wanted to close this chapter of her life. That meant taking this test and dealing with the outcome. Besides, what were the chances that she was actually pregnant, anyway? If she got this stupid test out of the way, it would be one less thing that plagued her mind and that sounded heavenly. Finally talking herself into the whole thing, Brooke went over to the toilet and sat down. After flipping through the instructions, she removed the cap. Looking down at her hands, she realized they were shaking and her heart was beating at an alarming rate. _I guess I'm more nervous about this than I thought. _Finally, after several unsuccessful tries, a few of her jitters disappeared, and she was able to pee on the stick successfully.

"2 minutes." She didn't recognize her voice. It was almost as if it wasn't hers. She was completely disconnected from the whole experience. She wasn't there right now, taking this test. Her future wasn't really hanging in the balances, was it? This couldn't honestly be happening again, could it? She already dealt with one pregnancy scare. That was enough, especially with the same guy. Brooke laughed bitterly to herself. What had she done to deserve to be in this situation? _Why do you hate me, God?_

After pacing around the hallway for what seemed like an eternity, Brooke glanced up at the clock on the wall. The initial two minutes had passed. Her feet felt like they had cement slabs attached to them as she attempted to go back into the bathroom: the room that held her fate. Finally passing the doorway, Brooke attempted to steal a peek at the results window. She was still too far away. After gently picking up the test with a shaky hand, Brooke took a deep breath and glanced down the plastic stick.

"I'm pregnant." Brooke stated aloud, still not quite wrapping her head around this huge realization. Her words of recognition and inevitability echoed between the quiet bathroom walls. Fate had stepped in and dealt her a hand that she was no where near ready to deal with, especially not alone. "What am I supposed to do? Someone, anyone! Please! Tell me what to do! I can't do this. I just can't…" Suddenly, the words just wouldn't come. Brooke knew that if she said one more word, she would break down completely. Unfortunately, one more question begged to be asked. "Why me?" Brooke squeaked meekly, her question barely audible. No longer able to hold her tears in, she fell to the ground, trembling fiercely. Sobs rattled her insides and an end to all the hopelessness she was feeling seemed impossible and further away then ever. Both mentally and physically exhausted beyond recognition, Brooke found an unusual comfort in the softness of her bathroom rugs, and before she knew it, she had fallen asleep.

**Note**: Yes, Brooke is pregnant. I know what you're thinking: not again! I know this idea has been beaten to death. I realize that and I'm sorry, but it adds an element to the story that is vital to the overall picture. I can only hope that you'll give it a chance.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note**: Thank you guys **so much** for all the comments! I've been doing my best to respond to your reviews, too. It's been really nice chatting with a few of you.

As far as an update goes, I should be able to get at least one chapter up by this weekend. I've been really busy with school this week, but I always make time for writing!

Take care, everyone. -findy0urself

**#2.**

The shrill noise of the telephone ringing caused Brooke to jump up, hitting her head on the bottom of the sink. _Fuck!_ She screamed, bringing her hand to her forehead. _At least there isn't any blood, _she thought, still wincing in pain. The phone rang once again, and Brooke did her best to stand up. Wobbling for a few seconds, and overcome by dizziness, she placed her hand against the door frame for support. _Mental note: Eat something, and soon. _

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" Brooke yelled at the insignificant object as it rang for the 4th time. Out of breath, she clicked TALK and listened for a response. "Hello?" No answer. "Is anyone there?" she asked again, but was only greeted by silence.

_Now complete strangers are hanging up on me, too. I just can't win, can I? _Walking over to the fridge, Brooke looked for something decent to eat. Eggs? Hell no. The simple thought of their consistency caused her to gag. Pickles? No. Too salty. _Since when did I become so picky? _Brooke asked herself, shocked at how nothing sounded appealing in the least. After going through the refrigerator and pantry, she came to the conclusion that she was going to starve to death. Just then, her stomach grumbled loudly. Shocked and amused by her newly found talent of making bizarre noises with her belly, she giggled. Out of habit and sheer hunger, she put her hand to her abdomen.

That's when it all came flooding back. Last night. The night everything changed for good._ I'm pregnant. With child. Bun in the freakin' oven. Lucas is going to love this. _She hadn't even thought about what she was going to tell him. How could she? With the uncertainly of their current relationship, how could she possibly throw this in the mix? _This. _The baby was already an object, and an unplanned one at that.

Without realizing it, Brooke had left her hand resting gently on her stomach and was suddenly feeling very protective. _Who knew that I had any maternal instincts?_ Brooke laughed at the irony of it all. _Brooke Davis, a mom. Oh, everyone is going to get a kick out of this. Way to boost your rep, Class President. _Not that her reputation was ever that great to begin with. Yes, she slept with guys. Far too many to count. She wasn't proud to admit it, but there had been so many nights; so many parties; so many drunk fucks between her and complete strangers.

"Oh God…" Suddenly overcome by intense nausea, Brooke rushed to the bathroom, barely making it. Wave after wave of nausea over took her body as she threw up violently into the toilet. Since she hadn't eaten in almost 24 hours, there wasn't much left in her body to get rid of. Unfortunately, that didn't stop her from dry-heaving for several minutes. She didn't know if the nausea was brought on by her mini-Brooke, or if thinking about her past "excursions" disgusted her. Probably both. Whatever the case, she had never felt anything like that before. _Welcome to the next 9 months of your life._

Flushing the toilet and putting the seat back down, Brooke pulled herself up to a standing position. Walking over to the sink to wash her hands, she noticed her reflection in the mirror. She looked half dead. She felt it, too. Somehow, her naturally pale skin went three shades lighter. Her hair was stringy and matted down from sleeping on the floor the night before, and an egg-shaped bump had risen up on her forehead. _That's attractive._ Looking closer in the mirror to observe the damage that the porcelain basin had done, she noticed something else.

"Oh, Christ." Brooke swore as she noticed that she had throw-up in her hair. Doing her best to clean her dark locks, she had grabbed a washcloth and forced it in repetitive motions over her hair until she was satisfied with the results. Her face, on the other hand, was a complete disaster. Her mascara had drawn dark, angry lines of sadness down her cheeks. Her eyes were bloodshot and red from the previous night's crying. _I'm sure the lovely projectile vomiting helped, too._ Brooke joked, attempting to make light of the situation. She really did look a mess, but she had never been more satisfied by what she saw. For once in her life, there was nothing fake about the reflection staring back at her. This _was_ her. This was _real_, and even if she had to look like a zombie, at least she wouldn't feel like one. _Being in love is ugly._

Splashing water on her face and wiping any excess makeup off, Brooke decided that her appearance wasn't going to get any better. The puffiness and hollow circles under her eyes weren't going away, and she would just have to deal with it. Besides, it was probably time to get dressed. She couldn't stay wrapped up in her large, fluffy towel forever. Or could she?

Mentally assessing her level of nausea, she felt that she would be able to make it to her bedroom. Opening up her closet, Brooke was greeted by her favorite things: her clothes. In her opinion, everything could be fixed by buying a really great outfit. Fights, breakups, sadness, PMS, bad grades…anything. With one little swipe of her parent's credit card, she was in a state of bliss. She liked to tease that the only good thing her parents ever gave her was their American Express.

Picking out a pair of boot-cut jeans and a lavender halter top, Brooke eyed herself in her full-length mirror. Satisfied by what she saw, she smiled briefly. _At least my ass will always be to die for. Even if I get fat. _She kidded with her subconscious, slapping her butt. She knew that her appearance was going to change, and as superficial as it might seem, it scared her. She would get a "basketball belly" as Lucas eloquently referred to it. _He is a piece of work._ Thinking about him, she smiled. Why hadn't he called, anyway? It had almost been an entire day, and she hadn't heard from him one time.

"How long does it take to make one damn phone call!" Brooke yelled, suddenly furious. She could go from hot to cold in a matter of minutes, and the increase in hormones wasn't helping. It was upsetting to her that he would dismiss her feelings so quickly and not even check on her once over the course of the night. _Especially with how we left everything_. After getting over the initial anger and resentment that she felt towards him, she started to worry. Was he okay? Could he be hurt? The possibilities were endless, and this was yet another question that Brooke had no answers to.

"And where is my cell?" Getting more and more frazzled by the minute, she suddenly realized where her phone resided. _In my purse, at the reception hall. Great. _Sitting down on her bed, she realized that she was blowing everything out of proportion. It was out of character, but maybe Lucas wanted to give her some time to think; give her some space. _Or maybe he's out there kissing my ex-best friend, again._ She couldn't help but be bitter. In her current state of mind, that's all she could handle. It was her justified response. _Or what if he's hurt somewhere. _As awful as it sounds, she wished that her second inclination was more accurate. She cared about his well-being, but the thought of him with Peyton right now was just too much to process. She _could_ understand if he forgot to call. She _couldn't_ understand if he was off frolicking with Peyton while she was dealing with all of this by herself. Dealing with her new life.

Suddenly, the phone rang. Again. Hesitating for a moment, she wondered if it was the anonymous prank caller again. _Or maybe it's Lucas! _Brooke though, a little too eagerly. "Hello?" Her voice was filled with hope.

"Brooke, it's me." She had never been so happy to hear his voice. _You're okay! I'm so glad you're okay. _She wanted him to know she was worried about him, but her pride stood in the way.

"Hi," was all that she could say. Her mouth was suddenly dry; her voice cracked.

"Are you okay? Why haven't you been answering your cell or home number? I was worried. I tried calling you several times." He wasn't an idiot. He knew that she was upset with him. He figured that she'd screen his phone calls, but this was unheard of. As far as he was concerned, they weren't over. Were they?

"I left my purse at the reception." She wasn't going to let her voice reveal any more information than what was absolutely necessary.

"I have about 6 of them sitting in the back of my mom's car right now," Lucas joked. When Brooke didn't respond, he continued, "but I haven't gotten a chance to look through them to see who the owners are." He paused briefly. "Brooke, I'm at the hospital." Lucas finally got to the point of his phone call.

"What? What happened?" Brooke was shook up by the news. Here she was, being completely self-absorbed, and something much more horrible had obviously happened. _Get a clue, Brooke. The world doesn't revolve around you._

"There was an accident. Rachel and Cooper's limo went over the bridge down by the river, and Nathan went in after them…" Lucas' voice trailed off to barely a whisper.

"Is everyone okay? Are YOU okay?" Letting go of her hurt for a brief moment, she allowed herself to worry about someone other than herself. Even if that person was Lucas. She couldn't imagine what he must be going through. She should've been there, but instead she was wallowing in her own self-pity. _Yet another time that you weren't there for him. _Brooke's insecurities riddled her brain once again.

"We don't know yet. Cooper and Rachel are in the ICU and Nathan is in surgery. The doctor said he'd let us know how they were as soon as any new information was available." He relayed the message.

"Oh my God. Lucas, I'm so—" She was cut off mid-sentence.

"I just need you here, Pretty Girl. Can you do that? Please? I need you." Lucas breathed heavily into the phone. His voice was deeper than usual, and she could tell that he was on the verge of tears.

"Of course. I'll be right there." Brooke said almost instinctively. She was taken aback by the fact that he actually admitted to _needing_ her. She wasn't magically healed by his words, but she knew that it was a step in the right direction. It made her feel good to know that she was needed. Especially that _he _needed _her. _For so long, it had been the opposite.

"Thank you," was the last thing that Brooke heard before the dial-tone blared in her ear.

Without thinking, she quickly put her boots on, grabbed her car keys, and was out the door; locking it behind her, of course. Not wanting to waste any time, she threw her car into reverse and backed out of her driveway, heading for the hospital.

Brooke put the top down on her convertible. The fresh air would do her good. Maybe it would even clear her head. The wind whipped through her auburn hair. After a few minutes, her mind began to wander once again, so she blasted her music loudly. She needed something…anything…to deafen the doubts that emerged like red flags in her head. "Don't go!" "He'll hurt you again!" "Are you going to tell him about the baby?" "Will Peyton be there?" They were endless.

Honestly, she wanted nothing more than to turn her car around and go home. She could hide in the comfort of her own bedroom. Everything could stop. But she knew that that would only be a temporary fix. She couldn't run from herself forever, and she definitely couldn't run from Lucas. As much as she wanted to hate him, she couldn't. Was she angry? Yes. Did she feel betrayed and alone? Of course. But when push came to shove, she had to be there for him this once. _He needs me._ She repeated to herself. It was the only thing that kept her foot on the gas pedal.

"Finally," Brooke spoke, relieved that she was finally _there._

Not sure exactly where to go, Brooke entered the main hospital entrance. It was like a maze, and she had no idea what was where. She had always hated hospitals. She had only been there once, and that was when Lucas had gotten into the car crash. If you asked her where his room was, she could find it blindfolded. She was his most frequent visitor. She occupied her time by sitting next to his bed, wondering what he was dreaming about. It might've been juvenile, but she had believed that he was dreaming about her. _How idiotic was I? That whole time, he wanted Peyton._

"Brooke!" Lucas yelled down the corridor. She snapped back to reality.

Turning around to face him, she suddenly lost all control. She didn't know what happened. Maybe it was the way his eyes were pleading for her to _save him_, or her own selfish needs, but she just had to be in his arms. Right there, right then. Running as fast as she could, she jumped into his open embrace. And it never felt so good.

"I'm so glad you're here…" Lucas sniffled as he buried his face in her hair.

"Me too." Brooke said, meaning every word.

They stood there, holding each other for what seemed like an eternity. Neither one of them wanting to let go. They needed that closeness; that reassurance. "Luke…" reluctantly, Brooke broke the silence, and he let her out of his grasp.

"What is it?" He asked, looking deeply into her eyes. It was no surprise that she had been crying, and it tore him apart to know that he was the cause of that hurt and pain. He inflicted it. He was the one to blame, and he couldn't forgive himself for that.

"I…I mean…I'm…" Brooke tried to get the words out. She wanted to tell him. About the baby. About how she wasn't sure that she could go through with this. _This_ being their relationship or the baby.

Lucas laughed quietly, "I think this must be some type of record, Miss Davis. I've never known you to be the tongue-tied type!"

"Well, this is different!" She punched him playfully in the chest.

"Just spit it out. Whatever it is, we'll deal with it." And Lucas meant every word. _Is she going to tell me she's pregnant? _He had sat up all night wondering if that was Brooke's pregnancy test that he had stumbled upon. He hadn't come to any conclusions. He was at his wits end worrying. He couldn't imagine having a baby, but he couldn't imagine life without her, either.

"Lucas! Brooke! The doctor has more information!" Haley yelled, interrupting both of their thoughts. "C'mon!"

"We'll be right there, Hales!" Luke responded, and then turned back to Brooke. "Now what was it that you wanted to tell me?"

"Never mind, Luke. It's nothing important. It can wait. Let's go see how our friends are." Her words downplayed the seriousness of the situation.

"Are you sure?" He asked, one last time. He didn't want to _make _her tell him anything. For all he knew, it _was _nothing.

"I'm sure." _I'm only having your baby, _she thought.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note**: Oops. I just wanted to apologize for having my anonymous reviews disabled! I had no idea! So, if anyone has been just_ dying_ to review, you should be able to now! Lol. Oh, and as always: thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far. It's really been helpful, as well as encouraging. So again, **thank you**! -findy0urself

**#3.**

Walking hand in hand, Brooke and Lucas followed the long, brightly-lit corridor to meet up with their friends and family. Once they got there, Brooke wished she could turn right around. _This is so depressing, so sad, _she thought as she looked around the room. The white walls, the uncomfortable chairs, that_ smell, _the sterile environment.

The waiting room was filled with complete strangers, but they had one thing in common. They were all awaiting news on their loved ones and she knew exactly how that felt. She knew how it felt to wonder what was going on behind those hospital doors. She knew what it was like to be scared out of your mind. She knew how one accident could impact so many people. This single room was evidence of that. She just _knew. _

Brooke observed the people around her. Everyone seemed to be filled with fear and curiosity. A nagging curiosity that needs to be filled. Sometimes knowing was better than not knowing. Sometimes, it wasn't.

"Okay, so I've said it before and I'll say it again. This place seriously needs a makeover!" Brooke stated, matter-of-factly.

"Brooke!" Haley said, fully appreciating the fact that her good friend was trailing behind Lucas.

She didn't realize that she had interrupted such an important conversation a few moments ago. She was in a mind set of complete shock and utter disbelief. One minute, Haley was a new bride about to embark on her honeymoon, and a matter of mere seconds changed that. In reality, becoming a window at 17 wasn't out of the question. The thought scared her to death.

"Hey, Tutor Girl. How are you?" Brooke questioned sincerely as she hugged her.

"As good as can be expected," Haley looked down at her hands as she spoke, "But I'm…I'm so worried I'm going to loose him…" A lone tear fell down her cheek. From the looks of it, crying was about all she had been doing.

"No, no. You won't! I'm sure he's going to be just fine!" Brooke answered quickly, making promises that she knew she couldn't keep. At this point, she would've told Haley that pigs fly if it would help her feel better. She had been in her position, and she'd never wish that kind of worry on anyone.

"Yeah, Hales," Lucas spoke reassuringly as he stepped toward her, "I'm sure Nathan will be alright. He's tough. He's a Scott, you know!" He smiled lightly as he pulled her close.

"I hope you're right," was all Haley had time to say before she saw Nathan's doctor approaching them from a distance. "There he is. Oh my God. Lucas, I seriously can't breathe." Haley's nerves took a toll on her as her lover's fate hung in the balances. She leaned up against her best friend for support. He responded instinctively by putting a caring arm around her shoulders.

To Haley, those few seconds before the doctor spoke seemed like an eternity. It was almost as if he was walking in slow motion. To her, everything suddenly came to a screeching halt. Until she knew how her husband was, time stood still.

"Mrs. Scott?" The attractive, middle-aged doctor asked. Haley held her breath. She couldn't tell if the doctor's expression was one of sympathy or just exhaustion. She forced a rather awkward nod.

Trying to build a wall of moral support, everyone seemed to crowd around Haley as she awaited the news. Brooke scanned the small crowd of tightly knit individuals and was both relieved and surprised that Peyton was no where to be found. Hell, even Dan was there. _Maybe he has a heart after all, _Brooke thought as she looked at him. He appeared to be listening intently to the doctor. Suddenly, they locked eyes and Dan winked at her. _Ewe, what a pervert! _Brooke thought as she shot him a look of disgust. _Never mind. He has no heart. The only thing that has a pulse in his body is his manliness. Or lack there of. Ewe._

"Nathan is resting comfortably. We were able to clear his lungs and are trying to prevent any more fluid accumulation. He's currently on a high dose of antibiotics to prevent infection in his lungs from the river water he inhaled. The surgery to repair his torn knee cartilage seems to be very successful, but he'll need extensive rehabilitation." Haley only nodded. She was just relieved that he was alive.

"Can I see him?" she asked eagerly.

"Of course," he said, smiling.

"I'm coming, too." Deb stated firmly.

"Me too!" Dan chimed in.

"Okay, right this way." The doctor turned his back and started to walk away.

"Hey, Dr. Dreamy!" Brooke yelled, somewhat inappropriately, after the doctor.

Oddly enough, he turned around quickly. "Yes?" He asked, smirking.

"What about our friends Rachel Gattina or Cooper Lee? They were involved in the accident, too. How are they?" She wasn't sure if she wanted to know the answer, but she had never been one to hold her tongue. Call it force of habit.

"I'm sorry. I'm not their attending physician and I honestly don't know what their current status is. I'm sure their doctor will be out to talk with you as soon as they know anything more." And with that, he was gone. Haley, Dan and Deb followed close behind.

"Well, that's just freakin' wonderful. Thanks for the help." Brooke grumbled, "_Jackass_." She mumbled under her breath as she sat down in a less-than-comfortable chair.

"Whoa! Someone is cranky." Lucas laughed, sitting down next to her. He placed his hand on her thigh, and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"I'm sorry. Hormones." Brooke spat, matter-of-factly.

"Since when? I've known you for over a year now, and for the most part, you've been nothing but cheery. I think you're the only person I've ever met who's actually a morning person!"

"Don't start." Brooke stated, her brow furrowed.

"Okay, okay. I'm sorry!" He raised his hands, as if to surrender, laughing the whole time. This was too much. He never thought he'd see the day where _Brooke _was broody. It was the cutest thing he had ever seen.

Both of them sat in silence for a few moments, but Brooke could never stay quiet for long. "Do you think they're going to be okay? Rachel and Copper, I mean?" She knew he couldn't possibly answer her question, but she asked anyway. Someone had to break the silence. It was killing her! Besides, if anyone could make this situation better, it was Lucas. Now if only he could make _their_ situation better.

"Brooke," he said positioning his body so he was facing her, "Honestly? I don't know." He answered truthfully. He couldn't help but notice that no matter what he did to get her to look him in the eyes, she wouldn't. Yes, she was looking _at _him, but she wasn't seeing _him._ He knew the difference.

"Hey, what is it?" He asked calmly.

"Nothing." Was all she said. For whatever reason, she couldn't stop looking down at her feet. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't look him in the eye. There was too much there. Too much left unsaid. Too many feelings still lingering and very much alive.

"It's obviously not nothing. Brooke. Look at me." No response. "C'mon," he said as he put his fingers beneath her chin and forced her to look him in the eyes. Loosing themselves for a moment, their eyes lingered in each other's gaze. Slowly, her eyes softened. "That's more like it." He said, smiling tenderly. Reaching up to move a stray hair away from her eyes, he revealed a relatively large bump on her forehead.

"Ouch!" Brooke yelled in pain as he touched it.

"What the hell happened to your forehead! Are you alright?" Lucas asked attempting to get a better look.

"Oh, it's nothing. It's stupid actually. I accidentally hit my head on the sink this morning…" Her voice trailed off as she realized how odd this whole story must've sounded to him.

Lucas burst into a fit of laughter. "You're kidding, right? Did the toaster try to bite you, too?"

"Shut up!" Realizing he was still getting a kick out of this whole thing, she continued, "It's not that funny!"

"Oh…but it is…" Lucas needed this. A good, hearty laugh. It was one of the main reasons he loved Brooke so much. He always knew he could count on her to make him smile; to make him laugh. And that's what she did, no matter what else was going on in their lives. Even if she was the victim of another senseless sink-inflicted crime in the process.

"Wow, your concern is just overwhelming." She stated sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "I'm going to sit over here…away from you." Brooke found a new chair a few feet away and sat down with her back to him. It might've been childish, but she didn't care. If he wanted to play this game, so could she.

"Aww. Are you mad at me now?" Lucas asked, finally catching his breath. He was enjoying every minute of this. Lately, with all the drama in their lives, they had both forgotten how to just have _fun._

"Yes." She wasn't going to let this go. "And actually, I think I might have amnesia. Who are you, again?" Brooke looked at him blankly, playing along. She stood there holding her head and grinning from ear to ear.

"Oh man, that hurts," Lucas pointed to his heart, "right here." They both laughed.

"Maybe my boyfriend, Dr. Dreamy, could take a look at that…" Brooke joked, as she walked back over to him. She placed her hand on top of his.

"You think so?" Lucas asked, looking down into her deep brown eyes. Their game had suddenly taken a turn towards serious.

"Mmm-hmm…" was all Brooke could manage. His eyes were sparkling back at her with such life. Such love. She was stuck in his trace. No matter how hard she tried to be mad at him, he knew how to get inside of her and reach her soul. He knew _her_.

"Or maybe you could take a look. I've never really liked doctors…" Lucas stated, never looking away from her eyes. He gently removed his hand from his chest and placed hers back on his rapidly beating heart. "Do you feel that?" Of course she could. It really _was_ racing. He didn't know it, but hers was, too.

"Yes." She answered quietly. Brooke was consciously aware that her guard was dropping. At that very moment, she would've robbed a bank if he asked her nicely. She was still extremely hurt, but she was stuck in the moment. Her worries and fears had momentarily slipped away. Nobody else existed. It was just them, looking into each other's souls.

"My heart is yours, Brooke. It beats for _you_." He paused for a moment and attempted to gauge her reaction. Trying to read Brooke's feelings wasn't rocket science. She wore her heart on her sleeve. But he wanted to make sure that she still wanted him, the way that he wanted her. He had to make sure that _it _was still there. Love. Desire. Passion. If those things weren't present anymore, if his betrayal had caused that to vanish, he would give up right then and there. But, if there was even a glisten of hope left in her eyes, he would keep trying. He would keep fighting. Forever, if that's what it took.

"Luke…" As she began to speak, her eyes filled with tears.

"Don't cry, Pretty Girl." Wiping a tear from her cheek, he cupped her face in his hands. Intently searching her face for any recollection of their love, he finally realized how much his past actions had hurt her. He had been looking at her all morning, but until that extended moment when he was looking for the _truth_, he didn't see _her._ But now he did, and the truth scared him.

Instead of bombarding Brooke with questions of what really went on last night, he let her face do all the talking. He was no longer oblivious to her blood-shot eyes, or the fact that her make-up was less than perfect. The dark circles under her eyes effortlessly told him the tale of the agonizing, sleepless night that she had endured the night before. He no longer fooled himself into believing that she was crying over Nathan, Rachel, or Cooper. She was crying because of _him._ Because of what he had done. Because of how he had betrayed her. _Again._

Thinking back on what had happened with Peyton, he suddenly felt his stomach tighten. His careless actions had brought such pain onto someone he loved so dearly. He couldn't believe how thoughtless he had been. He made himself sick. She didn't deserve this. She didn't deserve any of this, and _he_ didn't deserve _her._

But as fate would have it, those same tear-filled eyes that seemed to be loosing faith by the minute, still held that love for him. He saw it. He wasn't imagining this. _It_ was undeniable. Buried beneath all the emotional wreckage were still small, detectable glimpses of hope. She hadn't given up on him. He hadn't lost her yet. Not completely.

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry." He didn't know what else to say. Nothing else seemed sufficient. What could he possibly say to make this better? Nothing. He had to _make_ this better. He had to _show_ her that she could trust him, trust them, again. He was willing to do anything.

Looking up into his pleading eyes, Brooke saw something in Lucas that she had never seen before. _Desperation_. She had never seen him look so vulnerable, so scared, so alone, or so in love. It was like looking into a mirror._ He's just as afraid of loosing me, as I am of loosing him. _And suddenly, as if someone flipped a switch, she felt at peace. She wasn't cured, not even close. She still wanted answers. She wanted to know why he did this to her again. She wanted him to know just how badly this had hurt her. But, coming to that realization had given Brooke the strength and courage to fight for this love. For this man. She finally felt like it wasn't a loosing battle.

"I—" Brooke began, but was interrupted by a stranger behind them.

"Excuse me. I'm Dr. Bentze. I'm the attending physician for Cooper Lee and Rachel Gattina. I was told that you were waiting to hear how they were doing?"

"Uh, yes, we were." Lucas answered, reluctantly looking away from the woman he loved. He couldn't believe how bad this guy's timing was. _That's twice today. Can't a guy get a break?_

"I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I have bad news."


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note**: Alright, so the good news is that OTH is back! Finally! I'm not going to comment on anything in particular here in case some of you weren't able to watch or are staying away from spoilers, but what did you guys think of the premier? Love it? Hate it?

As always, I do appreciate every single review. So thank you to those who took the time to do so. It means a lot. Keep 'em coming! –findy0urself

**#4.**

"Mr. Lee passed away a few minutes ago. We did everything we could. I'm sorry." Dr. Bentze spoke in monotone. His entire "speech" seemed rehearsed and emotionally detached. He had obviously given it many times before.

"Have you talked to Deb Scott?" Lucas asked, silently praying that they weren't the first ones to know about this. Selfishly, he didn't want to carry this revelation around with him. "Cooper is…was…her brother." Lucas fumbled with his words, shocked by the news.

"Yes, she has been notified of his passing." The doctor answered hastily.

"What about Rachel? Is she okay?" Brooke started to panic. As much as she hated to admit it, she had become friends with Rachel and in some bizarre way, worried about her well-being.

"Mrs. Gattina is resting comfortably. She should be just fine" He paused, looking down at his chart. "If you'd like to go see her, she's in room 221." He stated, and then walked away, leaving them alone to mentally deal with the news.

"Thank God." Brooke breathed a sign of relief.

"Wow, your hormones must _really_ be out of whack. Thanking your lucky stars that your sworn enemy is alive? I feel like I'm in the twilight zone." Lucas scratched his head, wondering where his girlfriend had gone.

"You really do get some kind of sick pleasure from making fun of me, don't you?" Brooke laughed.

"You have no idea." Was all he said.

"Hey, speak of the devil; I think I'm going to go see her real quick. You know, just see how she's feeling. With Cooper and all, I figure she could use someone to talk to. Do you mind?" Brooke asked.

She was genuinely concerned about Rachel. Unknowingly, she had just lost someone she cared deeply about, and as much as Brooke didn't want to be the barer of bad news, she somehow felt obligated to. If she didn't, who would? Dr. Bentze? He was too cold, too harsh. When it came to matters of the heart, Brooke knew a lot more than some stuffy doctor.

"No, that's fine." Lucas lied. He really wanted her to stay with him. He wanted to talk. About them. About the possibility of a baby. About anything and everything. He just wanted to be around her, but he let her go. He let her walk away. _Again. "_I should go see how Nate is feeling anyway." Lucas added quickly.

"Okay. I'll meet you back here in a few." Brooke turned her back and headed towards the ICU.

Lucas could feel her slowly slipping away. "Hey, Brooke!" Lucas yelled after her, unable to shake the feeling that he should keep her with him; keep her safe.

"Yeah?" She questioned, turning around to face him.

"We really do need to finish that conversation." Lucas didn't want her to think he was putting their relationship on the back burner. Quite the opposite actually, it was the _only_ thing he was thinking about. He had to make sure she knew how strongly she felt about this. About _them._

"Don't worry, Luke, you're not getting off the hook that easily." And with that, she was gone.

"I wouldn't think of it." Lucas whispered to himself as he watched her walk away.

* * *

Reaching room 221, Brooke took a deep breath and suddenly wondered why she felt the need to be buddy-buddy with Rachel. _Why am I here? This girl made my life hell for many, many weeks. She tried to steal my position in the squad, my friends, and my boyfriend! I must be loosing my edge. _Brooke shook her head, and turned to leave. Unfortunately, before she got the chance to walk away, a nurse burst through the door, nearly crashing into Brooke.

"Oh my God, I'm sorry!" Brooke said flustered as she attempted to help pick up a few odds and ends that had fallen to the floor.

"Just don't let it happen again," the nurse snapped and walked away.

"It's true what they say. It's hard to find good help these days." Brooke didn't attempt to lower her voice. She spoke loudly, hoping that she was heard.

_Here goes nothing,_ Brooke thought as she proceeded through the door and into the airless hospital room. Quietly walking to her bedside, Brooke scrutinized Rachel's appearance. Her eyes were closed and she appeared to be sleeping. Considering that she was in an accident, she looked pretty damn good. Not as good as her, of course, but good just the same.

"Didn't expect to see you here." A raspy voice startled Brooke.

"You're not the only one. Just call this a moment of pure insanity." Brooke answered, sitting down on the edge of her bed.

"The psych ward is down the hall and to the right." Rachel stated, keeping a straight face. She loved to push Brooke's buttons.

"And you would know, wouldn't you?" Brooke sneered.

As soon as they started in with their normal back-and-forth banter, Brooke was fully aware of the fact that Rachel had no idea that Cooper had died. Honestly, she didn't think she was the right person to be breaking _this_ kind of news to her. They were hardly what you'd call best friends, but then again, it didn't really matter. She just needed to know the truth. Even she deserved that much. It happened, and no matter who broke the news to her, she was going to be devastated. Nothing was going to bring Cooper back. Nothing.

"How are you?" She asked sincerely.

"I could be better. I've got one hell of a hangover. But you've got to admit, I make this hospital gown sexy." Rachel laughed, glancing down at the drab piece of material that covered her body.

"What kind of meds are they giving you? You're obviously delusional. That _thing_ is uglier than sin. Even _I _couldn't make that gown look hot." Brooke teased.

"Understatement of the century." Rachel attempted to provoke Brooke even further. It didn't work. Not this time.

Pausing for a moment to collect her thoughts, Brooke attempted to figure out just how she was going to tell Rachel that Cooper had died. She quickly came to the conclusion that there was no easy way around it. _The quicker, the better._ She thought. Why prolong the inevitable?

"What is it? No quick come back?" At that moment, Rachel knew something was wrong. This is what they did. They argued. They insulted each other. It was an unspoken game between the two, and neither of them ever gave up without a fight. When Brooke suddenly turned serious on her, she knew the news couldn't be good.

"Look, there's something I have to tell you." Brooke cleared her throat. She was suddenly at a loss for words. Luckily, she didn't have to find the words. Her facial expressions said it all.

"What is it? Brooke, tell me!" Rachel paused, searching Brooke's face for answers that she already possessed. "Is Cooper okay? Tell me that he's okay. He has to be okay…"

"I'm so sorry. The doctor said they did everything they could." Brooke squeezed Rachel's hand awkwardly. For the thousandth time, Brooke wondered why she volunteered to do this. "He died a few minutes ago."

At first, Rachel appeared somewhat unaffected by the news and seemed frighteningly detached, but Brooke could see that her eyes were swelling up with tears. She wasn't fooling anyone. The emotional barrier that she put up was rapidly crumbling.

"Cooper's dead, and it's all my fault! I'll never forgive myself…" Rachel rambled incoherently, tears flowing down her cheeks.

"Shh…it's okay…it's not your fault. None of this is your fault. It just happened. There wasn't anything you could've done." Brooke attempted to comfort Rachel.

"No! You don't understand." Rachel shot back.

"What are you talking about?" Brooke questioned.

"I did this! We were arguing and everything got out of hand. I told him I loved him, but he kept rejecting me. I couldn't stand being in that limo with him anymore! I couldn't take it." Rachel looked Brooke in the eyes as she continued, "I tried to get him to pull over and let me out, but he wouldn't. In heat of the moment, I pulled on the wheel. I caused us to crash. It _was_ my fault." Rachel spoke so quickly that her sentences ran together. Brooke barely had time to register what was being said. "I never wanted to hurt him. I only wanted him to give us a chance. I needed a chance." Rachel finished with a heavy sigh. "I told him that I was pregnant," she added, "and he still didn't want me."

"Are you?" _Why does it seem like birth control isn't as effective in Tree Hill? _Brooke thought to herself. The irony in all of this was almost laughable. Almost.

"No! I only said that so he'd listen to me. You've got to understand the circumstances, Brooke! He wouldn't listen to a word I had to say! I was desperate. I never meant to hurt him…" Rachel's voice trailed off.

Brooke didn't need, or want, to know anything more about the accident. That's exactly what it was. An _accident._ A mistake. Something that couldn't be changed or taken back. She knew all that she needed to know.

"It's amazing, you know? The things we'll do for love." Brooke stated plainly.

Rachel simply nodded.

Two broken hearts. Two souls attempting to mend. Two people questioning fate and its uncanny ability to throw one curve ball after another. Two people simply trying to figure out life. For once, the two rivals were on the same page, and it felt like a new chapter was about to begin.

* * *

"Well, well, well. Look who finally decided to grace us with her presence!" Lucas laughed as he saw Brooke approaching.

"Ha ha. Very funny. You're just full of comic relief today, aren't you?" Brooke had never seen him like this. It was a completely different side to him. Honestly, she wasn't sure what to think.

"Would you prefer I did that broody thing you love so much?" He grinned.

"YES!" Brooke almost screamed. "Come back to me, oh broody one." Begging and pleading, she fell to her knees and pretended to pray at his feet.

"Okay, okay." Lucas laughed. "But only if you do me a favor first," he continued.

"Oh yeah? And what is that." Brooke asked curiously, slinking her body up next to his.

"I think you know…" Lucas hinted, hoping his subtle clues would get her talking about their relationship. It didn't work.

"Luke! I'm all about kinky sex, but a hosp---" Her NC17-rated thought was interrupted by a sudden case of extreme dizziness. Her body swayed a bit. Attempting to reach for something, anything, to steady her, she almost fell. Luckily, Lucas caught her just in time.

"Brooke? Are you okay?" Lucas asked worriedly once he had gotten her safely to a nearby bench.

"Yeah…yeah…I'm, I'm just fine." Brooke rubbed her eyes, trying to erase the fog that clouded her vision. From the hesitant sound of her voice, it almost seemed like she was trying to convince _herself_ that everything was okay. She knew she wasn't. She was far from _okay_.

"You're really pale all of the sudden," Lucas noted. "Maybe we should get a doctor to take a look at you. Just to be sure."

"No, no. I'm okay. Really. I promise!" Brooke didn't want to see a doctor. She didn't need a diagnosis. She already knew what was wrong with her. She was 17 and pregnant. That's what was wrong. "I just need some food. I haven't eaten much of anything lately." It was technically not a lie. She _was_ hungry, but Brooke could tell by the look on Lucas' face that he wasn't buying it. He wanted to know what was _really_ going on with her.

"Okay. C'mon. Let's go get you some food." Lucas gave in.

Extending his hand, Lucas pulled Brooke to a standing position. Steadying her with his hands, Lucas took a closer look at her. She looked completely exhausted. "Are you sure you're okay?" He asked again.

"Luke, for the sixteenth time. I just need some food. I'm starving." Brooke stated plainly. That was all she needed, right? _Don't worry, baby. I'm going to get you some food, _she thought, silently cursing herself for not telling Lucas the truth. But it just didn't feel _right_ yet.

"Okay, let's go. But just take it slow." Lucas answered as he put an arm around her, attempting to keep her safe. He still couldn't shake the feeling that there was something, or_ someone_, she wasn't telling him about. _Why won't she be honest with me? What is she so afraid of? _Lucas asked himself.

As they headed to the cafeteria, he attempted to push any negative thoughts that surrounded their relationship from his head. At this point, he just wanted to make sure that she was okay. There were plenty of time for question and answer sessions later. For now, all he cared about was her wellbeing.

* * *

"Do you think you could be any louder if you tried?" Lucas mocked as Brooke slurped loudly on her straw, attempting to get every last drop of the liquid into her greedy mouth.

"What? I love milkshakes! You can bite me!" Brooke laughed, and continued to swallow gulp after gulp of strawberry heaven. Something as simple as a milkshake had never tasted so good in all her life.

"You didn't enjoy that meal much, did you?" Lucas asked sarcastically. He knew Brooke loved to eat, but she had never consumed so much food so quickly.

"What? I didn't eat _that_ much." Brooke stated, defending herself. "What are you saying, anyway? That I'm getting fat?" She pretended to act hurt, looking down at her stomach. _Am I getting fat? _Brooke questioned herself, suddenly feeling self-conscious. _Thanks a lot baby Scott. Or Davis. Whatever._

"Far from it. I'm just impressed, that's all. The guys will be surprised that my 110 pound girlfriend was able to take on an entire burger, fries, and strawberry milkshake within a matter of minutes."

"106, thank you very much." Brooke scoffed, as she got up from the table to throw her trash away.

"Not after that meal!" He yelled after her. She heard him. Her only response was sticking out her tongue playfully.

Lucas could only laugh as he watched her walk away. A small, quiet grin settled permanently on his face as he got lost in her beauty. The way she carried herself. The way her long, shiny hair swung from side to side when she walked. The smile that took his breath away. All of it. All of _her. _He wanted it all.

"Whoa, earth to Lucas!" A familiar voice pulled him unwillingly from his trace.

"Peyton. Hi. What are you doing here?" Lucas questioned. He _was _happy to see her, but couldn't get rid of the feeling in the pit of his stomach. The feeling that _this_, their whole friendship, was somehow wrong. He hated the fact that he was betraying Brooke by even speaking to Peyton. He hated feeling like he had to choose. There was no choice to be made. He _loved_ Brooke, but no matter what he did, it was wrong.

"I came as soon as I heard. How is everyone?" Peyton asked genuinely.

"Everyone is just fine." Brooke answered harshly. "Now would you mind stepping away from _my _boyfriend." She asked, but Peyton knew it wasn't a question. It was a statement. She was being told to stay away.

"Brooke, calm down." Lucas answered instinctively. Once the words came out of his mouth, he knew he had said the wrong thing. _You just blew it. Way to go, jackass. _Lucas thought.

"Luke. Don't. Don't you DARE defend her right now." Brooke was getting more and more angry by the second. She could hardly see straight. She was beyond upset. All she could feel was her heart beating heavily in her chest, and an overwhelming desire to get the hell out of there.

"Brooke…I---" Lucas attempted to apologize. He didn't mean to defend Peyton. He didn't mean to hurt Brooke. Yet somehow, no matter how hard he tried to make things better, he failed miserably. Over and over again.

"Just shut up. I don't even want to hear it. I don't want to hear any more meaningless excuses." Brooke spat fiercely, as she headed for the door. She could think of hundreds of places she'd rather be than here. _Anywhere but here, _she thought as she ran from the two people in the world that _used _to mean the world to her. But now? They were the two people that always seemed to cause her the most pain, and no matter how she tried, she couldn't forgive and forget. She just couldn't keep doing this.

"Brooke, wait!" Peyton shouted after her former best friend as she ran after her with Lucas trailing close behind. "C'mon! Brooke! Would you just wait a minute?" Peyton continued to yell. She thought that she'd never catch up to her, until she realized Brooke had abruptly slowed down to almost a walking pace.

Brooke suddenly stopped, over come by dizziness and extreme exhaustion. Stopping dead in her tracks, she bent over and began gasping for air. "Luke…" Brooke whispered as everything around her became dark and fuzzy. She suddenly felt like she was in a tunnel, and it was slowly closing in on her. Until finally, everything went black.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note**: I want to send a HUGE thank you to Melissa, my new beta, for all her help! Thank you, thank you, thank you! I look forward to working with you!

And thank you to everyone who has left reviews! Keep 'em comin'!

**#5.**

"You're brooding," Peyton stated, obviously aware of how upset Lucas was. He looked like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. He had been silently beating himself up over Brooke's accident all afternoon, and she was sick of watching him feel sorry for himself, so she called him on it.

"I'm just worried about Brooke," Lucas sighed as he paced back and forth in front of Brooke's hospital bed. He couldn't rid himself of the guilt he was feeling. He _knew_ he should've kept a closer eye on her. He should've kept her safe and protected her. She'd asked him to, after all, and he hadn't.

"No kidding, I hadn't noticed" Peyton rolled her eyes. "You've only been obsessing over every little movement, groan, whimper or other insignificant noise she's made all afternoon."

He had been in there all afternoon, either sitting at the edge of Brooke's bed watching her sleep, or pacing around the room restlessly. Hour after hour, he stayed by her.

"I know I've been preoccupied, but I can't help it. If anything ever happened to her, I don't know what I'd do. She's it for me, Peyton. She's _it._" Maybe he did worry too much, he thought, but he needed to show her how much she meant to him, saying it wasn't enough, and most of all he wanted to be there when she woke up—to be the first person she saw; he needed to be.

"Lucas, the doctor said she'll be fine! She's _just_ dehydrated" Peyton said stressing the triviality.

"Peyton, she passed out! How is that not a big deal?" Lucas huffed, angrily. He couldn't believe how nonchalant Peyton seemed.

"Whoa, down boy" Peyton teased. Lucas only shot her a look of disgust and disapproval.

"Look, I'm worried about her, too, but there's nothing that we can do! You're only stressing yourself out, and that isn't good for Brooke either. The doctor said the best thing we can do for her is to let her rest." Peyton attempted to be the voice of reason.

"I _know_ there's nothing I can do, believe me, it's all I can think about. You have no idea how many hours I've been dwelling over the fact that I'm completely helpless right now. I can do nothing _but_ wait. Wait for her to open her eyes. Wait for her to come back to me. That's what I can do, and I will." Lucas inhaled and exhaled deeply, wishing her could take her away—take her anywhere besides her hospital bed, and way from all the uncertainty.

"Okay, I think it's time for you to get some fresh air" she knew he needed a break.

Ignoring Peyton's proposal completely, Lucas anxiously rambled on about Brooke. "Y'know, she was dizzy earlier, too, and so pale. Come to think of it, she was acting strange all day today."

Peyton knew why Brooke had been acting weird, and it had nothing to do with being dehydrated. It had to do with _her _and how angry Brooke was at her—how betrayed she felt. Lucas had no idea how badly Peyton had hurt his girlfriend.

"I should've known something was wrong. I should've done something…" Lucas' voice trailed off, and he stepped closer to Brooke's bed before he sat down next to her. Gently picking up her hand, he kissed it softly.

"Luke, you're not a mind-reader. There's no way you could've known!" Peyton attempted to talk Lucas out of his guilt; obviously, it wasn't working. His forehead wrinkled as he watched over her.

It was at that moment that Peyton realized, once again, just how much Lucas cared about Brooke. A pang of jealousy shot through her. She attempted to get rid of the familiar feeling, but as always, envy hung around like an old friend.

"There's something I have to tell you." Peyton knew she had to tell Lucas about her feelings for him, and why Brooke had suddenly become so insecure again. He deserved to know, and selfishly, she wanted to see if her there was any chance that her feelings would be reciprocated.

"Can it wait?" Lucas questioned, looking back at Brooke. "She might wake up, and I need to be here when she does. It's important. She needs to know that I'm not going anywhere." Lucas' voice was unwavering, as were his feelings for Brooke.

"No. I think this has waited long enough." Peyton knew it was time. He had to know how she _still _felt. After Lucas gave her the official brush-off nod, she asked again. "It's important." Peyton demanded.

Realizing how serious Peyton suddenly had become, he gave in to her. After all, she was his friend and he didn't want to deny her that.

"Okay." Lucas hesitantly stood up. Carefully tucking the covers up around her, reluctantly leaving Brooke's bedside. "I'll be right back," he promised her.

* * *

Following Peyton through the front entrance of the hospital, Lucas mentally questioned what all of this was about. He wondered what could possibly be so important that she'd actually _want_ to leave Brooke's side. He knew he didn't. Regardless of the hostility between the two ex-friends lately, he wished that she would show more concern.

"So what's up?" Lucas asked, once they had walked in silence for several minutes.

"I don't really know how to say this," Peyton laughed nervously, turning around to face him. After all of this time, she was finally getting a chance to reveal her true feelings for Lucas. She had thought about this conversation for so long. The infamous _I love you, even though you're in love with my ex-best friend _chat. She had dreamed about it. Pinned over it, over _him, _for so long, too long, and the truth was about to come out.

"Peyton, you're worrying me. What's going on?" Lucas suddenly realized how nervous Peyton seemed. She was _never_ nervous around him. Quite frankly he was concerned.

"I told Brooke that I" Peyton paused, swallowing the lump in her throat, "I still have feelings for you," she said as quickly as possibly, not giving herself a chance to take anything back. _There. You did it. It's all out in the open now. _

Complete silence befell them, for a really long time, almost _too _long. As awkward as everything was between them at that very moment, a huge weight had been lifted off Peyton's chest. Her heart felt so much lighter, yet she couldn't bring her self to look up and see his reaction. Regardless, she finally felt at peace with her feelings for Lucas.

And then he started talking.

* * *

**(Dream sequence begins)**

"Look me in the eyes, and tell me that you don't love me!" She demanded, gazing up into his beautiful blue eyes, pleading for him to answer her prayers. To tell her that he loved her and _only_ her, to reassure her she had always been the one for him—that it would always be the two of them, together forever.

"I don't love you." He answered coldly, shattering her hopes of reconciliation.

"LIAR!" She screamed, "How can you look at me and lie, and hide your feelings away? I can't do this anymore. I can't! I love you too much, and I know you love me, too! All you have to do is say yes. Just say yes." She paused, giving him a chance to speak.

"I can't." He shook his head, his face oddly blank.

Not letting him go that easily, she continued. "I need you, and I know in my heart you need me, too." It seemed to her that her words struck a cord deep within his heart. His face softened.

"We can't do this. Not here, not now, not ever." _Case closed, end of story_, he replied to her.

"Stop it! Don't say that, don't say that you can't be with me," she paused, lowering her voice to a mere whisper, "do I need to remind you we've done this before? Do you need me to refresh your memory of the kiss we shared; how you forgot to mention it to your girlfriend? She should know, Lucas; she should know the truth"

"I haven't forgotten. I will never forget," he stated simply, forcing his eyes away from her piercing stare. "And do _not_ threaten me."

"I'm not trying to. I'm trying to get you to admit to your true feelings. I'm trying to get you to give me your heart, all of it, once and for all." She sighed heavily, "because you have mine, and I know it Lucas, I have to have yours."

"It's not right. _We're_ not right," he insisted. To her, the look on his face showed he was lying, covering up.

They always say that actions speak louder than words, but in this case, it was the complete opposite. She needed to try Plan B. Throwing herself into his arms she aggressively pressed her lips against his, kissing him forcefully, she pushed her tongue into his mouth. He attempted to pull away, fighting her with every bit of strength in him, and then he didn't try at all. Only hesitating one second longer, he pulled her close and kissed her passionately.

**(/end)**

* * *

"NO!" Brooke screamed as she awoke from the horrendous nightmare which had invaded her subconscious. Quickly jolting up in bed, she panted loudly attempting to catch her breath. Running her hands through her hair, Brooke frantically looked around the room. Panic set in and she wondered where she was. Slowly but surely, the confusion which filled her mind began to clear. How did she get here? What had happened? Where was Lucas?

Lying back down in the uncomfortable hospital bed, she attempted to put the pieces of the puzzle back together. She could still taste the sickeningly sweet strawberry shake on her tongue. It brought a small smile to her face, though it didn't last long. Gradually it all came flooding back to her, how Lucas had so _valiantly_ stood up for Peyton, how she had attempted to get away from both of them, and how right before she passed out she felt the hauntingly familiar feeling of heartache overcome her.

It was déjà vu, and she was so sick of living through the same torturous scenario time after time. _Lucas and Peyton. _Somehow it always came back to them. Why did he need to rescue _her_? Couldn't he see _she_ needed to be rescued? Why did he defend her? Every time he stood up for Peyton she felt his disloyalty shinning through. She knew he didn't mean to hurt her. She knew he had the best of intentions, but that wasn't enough.

How many times could her heart possibly break? How many times would she be let down? How many times would she unintentionally put herself through this before she would finally give up for good? Why did she have to love him so damn much?

It was bad enough to constantly feel insecure and question her relationship with Lucas day after day, but now she was _dreaming_ about Lucas and Peyton hooking up. Could it get any worse? She didn't want an up close and personal view of them professing their love for each other. It was the last thing she needed, but now their speeches of adoration were etched in her brain.

Mentally replaying the dream in her head, she cried silently. The entire episode, delusion or not, had brought back far too many memories she prayed she could forget. Memories of how heartbroken and deceived she felt when she had caught Lucas and Peyton together, all the while she had been falling in love for the first time. Memories of Peyton tearing her heart out when she told her she had feelings for _her_ boyfriend, _again_, memories of how alone and misunderstood she felt when she realized that Lucas didn't understand _why_ she was so upset at the wedding, plagued her. They just didn't get it, and they couldn't possibly understand.

Lucas and Peyton: The two people in the entire universe, who were supposed to know her best, didn't, and that killed her. Lucas went through life being the hero, the protector, the knight in shining armor to everyone but her. Peyton claimed to be her best friend, yet she still took the initiative to go behind her back and be dishonest with her, and then hurt her more by telling the truth. Brooke just didn't _get it._ What was she doing wrong, was she too trusting? Why did she always have to play the fool? If Peyton really cared she would've left her and Lucas alone.

Her emotions were still raw, open sores, and at this rate they would never heal. Every time she attempted to get over her insecurities, one more showed up. She knew she couldn't do this anymore. She couldn't feel this exposed and vulnerable every minute of every day. She couldn't go through life feeling like she could never let her guard down. And that's exactly how she felt.

* * *

"You did WHAT!" Lucas screamed angrily, throwing his hands up in the air.

This was not the response that Peyton had been hoping for, far from it. She knew he might be shocked, but she never figured he would be so _mad. _He must have had _some_ inclination she felt this way, right?

"I'm sorry, but I had to---" Peyton was interrupted.

"You HAD to? YOU HAD TO! Peyton, we can't be here again! I can't do this. This isn't going to happen: Us. I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I ever led you on. I'm sorry I let you kiss me in the library. I'm sorry if I didn't make myself clear enough, but I'm in love Brooke! I'd NEVER hurt her again like we did before!" Lucas took several deep breaths as he attempted to clear his head. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. How could you? How could you do that to her, to me? You hurt both of us. I love her Peyton. She's the only one I ever want to be with."

Tears stung Peyton's eyes as her world came crashing down around her. All she could think about were all of the times he had stood up for her. He had saved her. He needed her, and she needed him back. Where had she gone wrong? How did she misread the signals? Everything suddenly unraveled before him.

"The whole thing, all of the issues Brooke and I have been having lately makes so much sense now. It's no wonder Brooke has been acting so weird around me. She's worried about losing me _again_."

"No, you don't understand---"

He didn't let her finish. At this point, he really didn't care what she had to say. He was absolutely furious. "No, YOU don't understand. I LOVE Brooke! We have both been working overtime trying to make our relationship work! It means everything to me. She means everything to me and you tried to ruin that. You know how hurt Brooke was last year, you saw her cry! You saw how incredibly insecure she was, yet you still did this to her? Did you honestly think for a second my love for her would just disappear when you came running to me with this, and what was the purpose of telling her, Peyton? Did you think she'd understand? You're out of your mind."

His harsh words shocked her. "I was thinking maybe all of the times that you left _her_ side to see _me_ meant something. I though maybe, just maybe, you cared about me, too, and were just too afraid to give us a try. I was thinking that…that maybe we had a chance…at something real." Her eyes were welling up with tears. The words she spoke were filled with hope. Hope that he was slowly killing.

"We don't. I can't believe you would do this. I can't believe you thought I'd leave her for _you_. She's the only one I'm in love with."

Realizing how heartbroken she was, he attempted to let her down gently. "Peyton, I did care—we've been through a lot together, and I will never forget all of the times that we've been there for each other."

Seeing a window of opportunity, Peyton looked up into his eyes, "Neither will I. You're always saving me…" Realizing that she was coming in for a kiss, Lucas dodged to the left, avoiding her attempt at yet another mistake.

He put his hands on her shoulders and kept her at arms-length, "And I loved being that guy for you" he confessed.

"Loved? Why past tense?" Peyton whimpered.

"Because. I can't be that guy for you anymore" Lucas answered, having a revelation. He couldn't keep running to her rescue every time she needed something. If he was going to be with Brooke, really _be _with Brooke, he was going to have to let go of what he once shared with Peyton. He was going to have to sacrifice his friendship with Peyton and go for something much more meaningful with his _girlfriend_. Peyton had hurt them both so much and yet she didn't see it. He couldn't afford to stay in both girls' lives. He had to stay by Brooke or he'd lose her for good, and that was something he couldn't risk. His heart wouldn't be able to take it.

"What? Why?" Peyton was frantically attempting to save their relationship.

"Y'know, I have to thank you Peyton," he paused, "This whole slip-up has made me realize how unfair I have been to Brooke, how unfair we've _both_ been. All of this time I've been running to _you_. I've been saving _you_. I'm glad I could help, really—" Lucas was interrupted, by Peyton's gentle plea.

"You can still be happy, Luke" she begged.

"But there's something in this life that makes me even happier, and that's Brooke. I need to stop this. I need to stop telling her that I love her, only to run off to you. I need to step up to the plate. I need to erase her insecurities once and for all. She deserves that. I want to give her that because I can't imagine being without her. I need her and I want her more than any person or any thing." Obviously, there was no changing his mind.

"Luke…" Peyton pleaded, walking up to him and attempting to put her arms around him.

"No." Was all Lucas said, as he stepped away. "I'm sorry I let it go this far—this long" he answered firmly as he walked back inside, leaving a distraught and heartbroken Peyton behind.

* * *

"Hey, you're awake! It's about time!" Lucas smiled as he walked into Brooke's room and saw her sitting up in bed. After she didn't respond, he took a closer look. She was starring absentmindedly at the wall, avoiding all eye contact. A stern look was plastered across her face. He suddenly became very worried. "Are you okay?" He asked sincerely.

When Brooke finally spoke, Lucas didn't like what he heard. "I don't think I can do this anymore."


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note**: I want to start off by thanking Melissa, my lovely beta, for all of her help with this chapter. I also want to give credit where credit is due. She wrote a good portion of the dialog, and I honestly couldn't have done this without her. Thank you!

Now, if you're like me, you've been disappointed by the recent events that have occured with our beloved Brucas. Luckily for all of you, I love me some Brucas, so here you go! Enjoy the chapter, and as always, I appreciate every single review! Tell me what you like, don't like, hate, want to happen, etc. I don't mind critisism as long as you're honest with me. So, click that review button!

Take care, everyone. ---findy0urself

**#6.**

"You can't do what anymore?" Lucas played dumb even though he knew what was coming. Call it telepathy, call it intuition, but when he saw the look of surrender on her face, it was more than enough. She had given up fighting for him, for them.

"This, us. I can't be with you, Luke." Brooke's eyes glistened with moist tears as she spoke, letting the finality of her words sink in. She knew this was the right thing to do for both of them, but that didn't make it any easier to break his heart. Telling Lucas they were over brought an entirely new meaning to the definition of hurt—beyond devastated was more like it.

As Lucas' worst fear was confirmed his heart began to race in his chest, and an overpowering sensation of nausea passed through his body. A feeling of desperation rushed through his veins as his minded raced. He knew he had to say something, _anything_, to change her mind, but what? What could possibly make this situation better? What could he say or do to help her believe, without a doubt, that it would be a mistake to end their relationship?

"But I love you!" Lucas practically screamed, clinging to the hope that his love, strong and unwavering, could pull them through this. The sincerity surrounding his declaration echoed throughout the quiet hospital room. He had never said those three little words with such power, such force. It wasn't a mere statement. Being in that moment, being so close to losing his girl, his_ lover_, he put his faith in a higher power, in love.

"And I know you love me, too," Lucas pressed on when Brooke remained quiet. Her only response was a steady stream of tears and a quiet whimper that escaped her lips as he continued to read her heart like a book. He was right. She _did_ love him, but she wouldn't let him know that. She couldn't, not after what had happened. Maybe she was being stubborn, but she knew confirming his claims would only complicate the situation further. She needed a good clean break, or as clean as it could be, for she knew that would never be entirely possible. Brooke knew losing Lucas would undeniably equate to lose a part of herself—her heart.

Sitting there listening to him proclaim his love for her, she heard something in his voice she had never heard before, something _different_, a subtle reassurance, and she knew he was speaking from his heart. Brooke questioned how his feelings could be so strong, so unrelenting in that moment. He was so passionate, so true. _This _was the Lucas Scott she had fallen head over heals in love with. _This _was the Lucas Scott that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. Unfortunately, this was _also_ the Lucas Scott that had lost her trust, and she couldn't get past that.

Walking over to her bedside, Lucas sat down next to Brooke. With ease, he interlaced his fingers with hers. Brooke jumped slightly as she felt his energy through her body, an undeniable connection, surely one that would never fade. He gently brushed his thumb over hers, attempting to connect with her in any way he could. Unable to let herself witness his gesture of tenderness, she avoided all eye contact. It was too painful; too real to ignore.

"Look at me!" Lucas pleaded. He _had_ to see her eyes. "Please?" he asked again, softer, more desperate, when she hadn't complied with his request. Slowly but surely, she turned to face him. "That's more like it, Pretty Girl," he smiled gently, feeling his throat tighten as raw emotion overwhelmed him.

Her face was wet and covered in tears, and her eyes were swollen and red. He could see the pain in her eyes, the pain _he _had caused. He could see her desperately pleading for him to stop hurting her. He saw the unanswered questions and the broken promises, how much and how severely she was hurt, and it was he who had unintentionally forced her to endure all that—it was heartbreaking. It was also more _real _than anything he had ever experienced. Unknowingly, without speaking a single word, Brooke Davis had allowed him to feel something he had never experienced before. She had pulled him right into her soul and broken _his _heart. His heart broke for _her--_for a brief moment he felt her pain, and he understood.

"I'm so sorry…" Lucas sighed heavily. He never _meant_ to do this to her. Never _meant_ to make her cry. Never _meant_ to fall in love with her or break both of their hearts in the process, but he _did_. It was his fault, and now he would have to make this better. Somehow he would make this better.

"Thirteen times," Brooke stated plainly, finally breaking her silence.

"What?" Lucas asked puzzled.

"You left me to be with Peyton thirteen times since we've been together this year," was all she said.

Taken aback by her avowal, Lucas paused. He didn't want to say the wrong thing, but he didn't know what the _right _thing to say was. _I'm sorry? I don't love her, I love you? It didn't mean anything? You're the only one for me, and all of those times with Peyton were a mistake? _All of those options were fine, maybe even great, but he didn't want fine or great. He wanted honesty. He wanted to make this right with them.

"... I can't take back what happened, but I want to make this better, starting with being honest with you..." Lucas stopped momentarily, clearing his throat. "Brooke, Peyton told me she still has feelings for me, and—"

"You're running away together" Brooke snapped.

Normally, Lucas might've been taken offense from Brooke's comment, but he _knew_ how badly she was hurting. She felt betrayed and alone and she was protecting herself by feeling anger instead of hurt. Lucas took the time to take a deep breath and _think_ about how he was going to respond. He couldn't risk making things worse.

Looking her square in the eyes, Lucas began yet another one of his infamous speeches. "I told her I love _you,_ and there is absolutely nothing she could do or say that would ever change that. I told her there was no way she and I could ever be together because I wouldn't betray you like that again. I couldn't risk losing you because you're my heart, Brooke."

"It's a little late for apologies, Luke." Even though Brooke knew he was sorry for what had happened with him and Peyton, it didn't make it any easier to look at him and not feel betrayed. He still had a choice. He didn't _have_ to save Peyton. He didn't _have _to rescue her time after time, but he did, and now it was too late to ask for forgiveness. She didn't have it in her to forgive and forget—not yet, maybe not ever.

"Why can't you ever save _me_. Why Peyton? Why is it always her? Why can't you ever take _my_ side, Lucas? If you loved me you would've. You would've even if you didn't understand." Brooke had broken down for a moment and she was overwhelmed with sadness, hurt and betrayal.

"You don't deserve what we did, Brooke, but you've got to understand!" Lucas was quickly becoming frantic. She was slipping away right before his eyes, and he couldn't remember the last time he felt so helpless.

"Understand what? That my best friend is in love with my boyfriend, that my boyfriend _let _my best friend _kiss_ him, or that I was the idiot that was oblivious to all of this? When are you going to stop being sympathetic to her, Lucas? Can you feel an ounce of it for me? She hurt me Lucas, in the worst possible way, and you added to it" Brooke rambled on, not giving Lucas a chance to chime in. "I thought we were stronger than all that, that we were past it. I thought we had something special…"

"We do!" he was frantic now. "We have something real. You know we do," Lucas reassured her.

"I thought we did, but now I don't think so. If we did Lucas, this wouldn't be happening. I don't deserve this Lucas, I'm sick, I'm tired, I'm done fighting and feeling sad and scared and desperate to hold on to everything that matters. I'm tired of giving more than I'm getting back, or caring for someone so much when they don't return it." Brooke stated firmly. "Obviously I don't mean as much to you, as you do to me."

"That isn't true, Brooke." He said it simply and firmly. "I was wrong to put you through this again." Lucas repeated, "I never should've ran off to Peyton all of those times, but I had no idea she was secretly harboring all of these feelings for me! It didn't mean the same thing to me as it did to her. I was just trying to do the right thing. I was just trying to be a good friend…"

"A good friend? Oh, like Peyton was my good friend? Please." Brooke scoffed. "And by the way, Lucas, the right thing would've been to stand by your _girlfriend's _side, support your _girlfriend_ and show her how much you supposedly loved her. No, Peyton's feelings and Peyton's friendship came first for you, Lucas. I got the backburner. You brushed my feelings off Luke, you brushed me off as if I was overreacting, as if my feelings meant nothing, and that poor little Peyton was so sad that she needed you and deserved you more. You're constantly overestimating my strength Lucas; don't you know my strength has always come from you? But it can't, not anymore. I can't keep feeling this way, waiting to be hurt and let down _again_."

"Brooke…I was wrong…but I love you. Can't you see I understand now? I never would've…had I known—"

Brooke interrupted. "That's not the point Lucas. You're always supposed to be by my side, and you haven't been."

Lucas argued back. "She hasn't been a good friend to you, and neither have I, but I just found out about all of this. I'm still trying to process all of this myself! You've got to believe me!" Lucas begged. "I love you. I don't love her Brooke, and I know I was wrong. I know that now."

Brooke simply shook her head disapprovingly. "You knew, Lucas. You must've known, before."

"Honestly, I didn't! When she told me how she felt, my first reaction was disbelief! I couldn't believe that she would jeopardize your friendship! I can't lose you again, Brooke. I know how much we hurt you last time, and I couldn't process why she would risk losing your friendship. I can't speak for her, but I would never ever do that again. I wouldn't hurt you intentionally."

"Yeah, well, look at how well _that _brilliant plan turned out." Brooke rolled her eyes, her words dripping with sarcasm, but only for a moment. "It doesn't hurt all the same, Lucas. This time it hurts more. It's the worst kind of pain. The first time this happened I was hurt, now I'm disappointed _and_ hurt, and because of you; you're not supposed to make me feel that, of all people, Lucas, even when Peyton failed me, I wasn't supposed to feel this because of you."

"I know. I know. I'm hurt, too." Lucas answered honestly.

"Don't even try to turn this around and—" Brooke interjected quickly.

"I'm NOT!" Lucas shouted back. Quietly, he added, "I'm trying to tell you how _I'm_ hurt, too. I hurt the girl I'm in love with. I'm hurt, knowing I had the ability and that I did that to you…"

"No, Luke. _You_ can't equate what you're feeling to what_ I'm_ feeling. _You_ haven't been crying yourself to sleep. _You_ haven't been wondering where you went wrong, putting all your faith, your heart into someone who didn't understand what it meant, who treated it so frivolously. _You _haven't been asking yourself why you're being punished. _You_ haven't been feeling abandoned, alone and scared, like your world is being torn down by the people who were supposed to make it better. _You_ haven't been betrayed by the only two people who meant something." Brooke stopped, in an attempt to compose herself, even though it was a lost cause.

"Brooke…" Lucas put his arms around her, trying to console her as she cried. She didn't stop him from holding her. As strong as Brooke was trying to be, emotionally, she was a wreck and even though she was angry, his touch never repulsed her. He was still able to comfort her, even then. Letting her guard down, Lucas felt her shoulders drop. Rubbing her back softly, he kept repeating "its okay" over and over again.

"No, it's not okay," Brooke sniffled as she broke away from his embrace.

"There's something I have to tell you."

"What?" Lucas froze. He had no idea what was coming.

"I'm pregnant." Brooke replied, in a half sigh half whisper, and awaited his reaction. Saying those words out loud suddenly made her feel sick to her stomach. She couldn't believe she was in this position.

"You are?" He couldn't believe what he was hearing. He was going to be a _dad_?

Brooke only nodded, confirming the news.

Running his hands through his hair, Lucas stood up and paced around the room for a few seconds. "How did this happen?" Lucas asked. Brooke only gave him an I-think-you-know look. "Well, I _know_ how it happened," laughing slightly he continued, "but I thought you were on birth control?"

"I was, but I guess we got lucky, literally." Brooke attempted to make light of the situation, but the tone in her voice didn't match up. He was taking this a lot better than she thought he would. She felt slight relief at no longer carrying this burden of knowledge alone.

"Birth control isn't 100 effective." A voice interrupted their conversation. "Hi, I'm Dr. Prakash. You must be Miss Davis?"

"Yes." Brooke answered, starting to worry. Why was she here and was something wrong with her? Or the baby? The possibilities were endless and Brooke couldn't take the suspense. She began to remember why she hated hospitals.

"Are you family?" Dr. Prakash directed her question at Lucas.

"Uh…well, no." Lucas spattered. He wasn't sure _what_ they were at this point, and he wasn't about to say that she was his baby's mama.

"I'm going to have to ask you to leave. I need to discuss a few things with Miss Davis. You can wait outside or in the waiting room. I'll come get you when we're finished talking." The doctor suggested bluntly.

"It's okay," Brooke explained, "he's the father."


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note**: Hi, everyone. Here's an update for ya. I really think this chapter turned out well, so I hope you all enjoy. Let me know what you think once you're finished reading!

Thank you, Melissa, for all of your help! You always add that extra _something_ that really makes the chapters click, so thanks again. xoxo.

**#7. **

Standing in the elevator, Brooke idly played with her car keys as she watched the numbers go up. Listening to the loud hum which vibrated throughout the small space, she felt her mind go numb as she drifted into a trance. She wasn't sleeping or daydreaming, no, this was different. This was a brief moment where her mind simply left her body and went somewhere far, far away. She wished the rest of her would float away too, away from this situation, away from this place.

The elevator came to a jolting halt as it reached the 10th floor. _Bing._ Brooke was yanked back into reality by the shrill noise. The doors opened and she hesitated for an extended moment. She knew what happened beyond the safety of those four walls, and she was repulsed by what she was about to do. She didn't want to be _here_, she didn't want to do_ this_. Sighing heavily, she forced herself to proceed forward. Looking at the crinkled message scrawled on the paper she held in her hand, Brooke read what she had already memorized: _10A. _Stopping at 10A, she reached for the doorknob, and just as she was about to let herself in, she hesitated, let go of the silver handle and turned around. She bit her lip nervously and closed her eyes as she silently contemplated getting as far away as she possibly could. Pacing back in forth in front of the door, Brooke's mind raced. She couldn't shut it off. What was she doing here? She wasn't this kind of person. This kind of thing didn't happen to girls like her. As always, her thoughts were overcome by one thing and one thing only: _Lucas. _She wished he could save her from this predicament. Without fail, her eyes began to water. Wiping the tears from her eyes, Brooke inhaled sharply. Suddenly overcome by the sterile smell that filled the air, she gagged in disgust, and then she was sobbing steadily. This was by far the single most important decision she would ever make in her life, and she wondered if she was making the right choice.

**(start flashback) **

"Luke, believe it or not, I do know how to walk!" Brooke teased as Lucas walked beside her with his arm wrapped tightly around her waist. His actions might've been overly protective, but he paid no mind. As far as he was concerned, he would watch over her day and night if that's what it took to keep her out of harm's way from here on out. Now that Lucas knew there was a baby—his baby, on the way, he had a lot more to lose—so much more was at stake, and it was real. He would do whatever it took to keep her safe, even if it drive her crazy in the process.

"I know you do. I've seen those heels you insist on wearing all the time. I'll never understand how you haven't suffered several injuries in your lifetime." Lucas smirked, shaking his head, "besides, I'm only trying to help!"

"I know you are, but you're also smothering me in the process! I'm not an invalid, Luke." Brooke lowered her voice, "I'm pregnant." Paranoid, she looked both ways to see if anyone had heard her, but they were the only two people roaming the halls at two o'clock in the morning. Brooke needed a break from the stuffy hospital room and all of the tests she was forced to go through. She thought they would never stop; the blood tests, the urine tests, all of the _tests _were overwhelming. She began to wonder if all of these tests were the result of something abnormal occurring with her pregnancy, but Dr. Prakash had put her mind at ease and reiterated how critical early prenatal care was. As far as the medical staff was concerned, this was all a routine and nothing was out of the ordinary, but to Brooke, these tests represented her new life: her life as a mom, and all the changes and life-altering decisions that came along with her new life. She was scared to death of making the wrong choice, the wrong move, of not being able to take something back she might dearly regret—of hurting Lucas in the process. Luckily, Lucas had been there through it all. He held her hand during every single needle stick, he had reassured her that the pain would be over soon, and time after time he was right. It might've been childish, but Brooke needed reassurance. She needed know everything would be okay and that she didn't have to worry. _He_ would worry for her, _he_ would carry that burden. Being in her position with nobody else to turn to, Lucas had pleasantly surprised her with his enthusiasm and desire to help in any way he could. Without her having to ask, he had stepped up to the plate and supported her through an extremely difficult time.

**(end flashback)**

Waiting outside for only a few seconds longer, Brooke shook her head as if to erase the memories of Lucas' caring ways. _He isn't here now, is he?_ Her subconscious played games with her head. She knew why he wasn't there.

"I'm doing the right thing." Brooke spoke quietly, attempting to reassure herself. As hard as this was for her to go through with, she thought it was the _right_ thing to do. Finally talking herself into it, Brooke entered the brightly lit waiting room. Looking around, she noticed the dingy carpet and faded wallpaper. Grimacing slightly, she directed her gaze to the reception desk.

"Hi, I have an appointment for 3:00." When Brooke heard her own voice she didn't recognize it. It was shaky, quiet and filled with fear. The knowledge of this scared her even more.

"Name?" an older woman questioned, not even looking up from her keyboard.

"Brooke Davis." As she spoke her name out loud, she thought she started to experience an out of body experience. She was there, but she wasn't _there_, as if she had stepped out of her body and saw herself standing there, and she was ashamed at what she saw.

"Okay. The doctor will be with you in a minute. Fill out this paperwork, and we'll call you back as soon as the doctor is ready for you," the woman informer her, handing her a clipboard.

"Thanks." Brooke answered robotically, feeling completely detached from this entire experience. It was simpler that way—less painful, she didn't have to take responsibility, or take blame if this turned out wrong—if it ruined everything even further. Sitting down, she began to fill out the paper work. She couldn't believe she was here, that she was about to have an abortion. _How did it get to this point?_ She was about to have a doctor terminate her pregnancy, killing her baby. _Their_ baby. _Their _future.

**(start flashback)**

Reaching the nursery, Brooke and Lucas peered through the glass window. Inside the brightly lit room were several newborns, each swaddled in a blanket, pink and tiny, some were crying, some weren't. Something dawned on Brooke—they were all clean slates. They had their whole lives ahead of them, and both Lucas and Brooke envied them.

"How are you feeling?" Lucas asked, his tone sincere, as they stood there staring at their impending future, a future which had been chosen for them, it had chosen _them_. A future that included crying, poopy diapers and late nights, and that would only be the first few months.

"Scared," Brooke answered honestly. That one word summed up everything she was feeling. She _was_ scared, for herself and for Lucas. There was so much uncertainty surrounding this pregnancy, and Brooke couldn't help but dwell on the fact that lives would undeniably change _if _they had a baby.

"Me too," Lucas answered, pausing for a moment to collect his thoughts, "but we'll get through this….together," he concluded, squeezing her hand lightly. For Lucas the answer was clear and it was simple. They had made a mistake, a big one at that, and now they would have to deal with the consequences of their actions. There wasn't any way around it, this was undeniable. Even though he was scared out of his mind, he put up a front. He knew he had to be strong for Brooke. She needed him now more than ever. He was going to be there for her no matter what he had to give up in the process. She couldn't be alone; she hadn't gotten herself into this alone. And he still loved her.

"Together? Luke, we're not—"Brooke started to question Lucas' intentions but was interrupted.

"I know we're not together," Lucas sighed heavily, mentally kicking himself once again for screwing things up with her in the first place, "but that doesn't mean that I don't care about you. I want to be there for you, for the baby. You don't have to do this alone. I don't want you to do this alone, Brooke. We're in this together."

"No Luke, _we're_ not in anything together! _I'm _the one who's pregnant, not you," Brooke stated firmly as she broke away from Lucas' grasp, "don't act like this is just going to be okay because it's not! This—" Brooke pointed to her stomach "is never going to get better. It's only going to get worse! Don't you see?"

"Brooke, calm down. I know— " Lucas attempted to console her, but there was no stopping her now.

"Calm down? Are you kidding me?!" Brooke pressed on loudly, her voice getting louder as her temper rose. "I don't even know who I am anymore! I have no control over my own body! I'm nauseous but then I'm hungry! I'm sore, achy, and tired! I don't know what to feel or when to feel it! I'm an emotional wreck, Luke!"

Lucas watched her intently as she spoke; hoping to discover a hidden clue on how to make things better, but it wasn't magic. As much as he wanted to understand, he knew he couldn't possibly fathom what Brooke was going through physically, and only _maybe_, emotionally. Brooke wasn't oblivious to the look of hopelessness in Lucas' eyes as she spoke. He had no idea what to tell her. He was just as confused and scared as she was. Giving up her fight with fate, Brooke threw her arms up in the air. "I don't know, Luke," she spoke quietly as she looked down at the ground. "I just don't know anything anymore."

**(end flashback)**

"Miss Davis? We're ready for you now."

_Here goes nothing_, Brooke thought. Standing up, she managed to make her way over to the woman. Fighting the overwhelming feelings of nausea which plagued her, she smiled hesitantly as she was led down a long hall way. She felt like she was going to the guillotine, or was about to serve a life sentence. That was the truth. She was here. She was walking towards her fate. This was actually happening.

**(start flashback)**

Lying in bed, looking up at the ceiling, Brooke's mind raced. She had been discharged from the hospital earlier that morning, yet she couldn't rid herself of the questions that surrounded her future. How would she possibly finish school, and more importantly, how would Lucas? She knew if she asked, he would make her and their baby his entire future and put his dreams on the back burner; he'd do it even if she didn't ask. He was just that kind of guy, and she knew she could easily take advantage of that. She wouldn't though. She couldn't possibly let Lucas to give up everything for her and the baby. She wasn't even sure if _she_ was willing to give up everything herself.

Since it was three o'clock in the afternoon, she decided that it was probably time to get dressed for the day and quit moping around. Sitting up and walking over to her closet, Brooke reached for her favorite pair of jeans. Pulling them up, she attempted to close the button. No luck. "You've got to be kidding me." After another three tries, they buttoned, but they were extremely snug. "I don't even get this one simple pleasure," Brooke was now almost on the verge of tears. Looking in the mirror, she could already see a difference in her waist line, and the evidence were the harsh red indentations that the pants have left once she threw them to the ground. Flopping back down on the bed, Brooke sighed heavily. What had she gotten herself into? Rolling onto her side, she saw _those _pamphlets laying on her nightstand. They promised to give her a choice, they promised to eliminate the problem. Unfortunately, they didn't promise sanity, and that's the one thing she needed now more than ever. Sitting up, Brooke reached for the colorful pamphlets. Flipping through them aimlessly, she was overcome with guilt and anxiety. She couldn't believe _she_ was actually considering _this_. She couldn't believe that she was considering murder.

* * *

Wiping the sweat from his brow, an exhausted Lucas shot a free-throw. It went in, just like the last three-hundred had. This was his escape. This was his release, but no matter what he did, he couldn't help but think about Brooke. He couldn't stop thinking about how they had left things. He couldn't stop thinking about the distant look on her face as he left her apartment earlier that morning. He couldn't stop thinking about the fact that he was going to be a _dad_, a dad in _high school_. This is not how he thought his high school career would end. He had figured he'd spend the rest of his senior year enjoying his friends, family, and basketball. He never thought he'd end up losing his girlfriend and gaining a baby. This was not how his life was supposed to turn out. Rhythmically bouncing his basketball up and down, he continued to wonder how Brooke was. Was she crying? _I should be there to hold her. _Was she hungry? _I could bring her take-out. _Was she mad at him? _I'll prove to her that I'm the one for her, again. _The rapidly firing thoughts that blew through his mind quickly became much too distracting. After making one last shot, he decided to go see her.

* * *

"Hi, pretty girl." Lucas smiled as he Brooke greeted him at the door. Walking past her, he made himself comfortable on the couch, just like he had many times before. "Come sit by me," he said as he patted the cushion beside himself. Hesitantly, Brooke sat down next to him. She didn't know how to tell him that she couldn't go through with this, she couldn't have the baby. Before she had the opportunity to break the news to him, he began to talk. "Look, I've been thinking…" Lucas started, "I know this pregnancy wasn't planned, and believeme, I'm beyond scared, but I'm willing to give this my all if you are. I can stay in Tree Hill next year for college, and I'm sure I can get extra shifts at the café." Brooke could already see him throwing his dreams out the window. "I want to do this. I want to do this with you." Gently placing his hand on her stomach, he said one final thing: "I want to have this baby." Once those words were uttered, Brooke's heart sunk. Removing his hand from her stomach, she held it for a brief moment.

"I know you _think_ you do, but this was a accident and it would be a mistake to have this baby. This wasn't part of the plan for either of us. We have our whole lives ahead of us, and I won't be responsible for ruining it. I don't want you to resent me, or a baby. It wouldn't be fair." She could see that Lucas was about to argue with her, so she quickly added the final nail to the coffin. "Luke, I'm going to have an abortion. I can't have this baby. I'm sorry."

**(end flashback)**

As Brooke sat on the cold metal table, she instinctively put her arms around her body as she fought the urge to cry. For the hundredth time that day she began to think about Lucas. She recalled the way his beautiful blue eyes had looked as he begged and pleaded for her not to do this, to _save_ their baby.

**(start flashback)**

"You can't do this!" Lucas pleaded, as a few stray tears ran down his cheeks, desperately grabbing for Brooke's hand. "I'll do whatever it takes," he promised.

"Don't you see?" Brooke questioned, looking him in the eyes, "I don't want you to have to sacrifice your life for this mistake we made! You have a future ahead of you, Luke, and it shouldn't have to include midnight feedings or diaper runs! We're in high school!"

"I know we're in high school, Brooke," Lucas paused, as he sniffled loudly, "and I'm not saying this would be easy, but I'd do this for you because I care about you! Don't _you_ see? _You're _my future! _This_, being here with you, is my future. I'm okay with that, Brooke. Don't you see?"

Brooke was taken aback by his overwhelming display of emotions. She had never, ever seen him cry, and that made this even more difficult. He was fighting so, so hard for this baby. She knew her decision was killing him, it was killing her, too, but she had already concluded this was the right thing to do for everyone involved.

"I know you would give up everything." Brooke spoke slowly, reassuring him that she appreciated his gesture, "but I could never live with myself if I had to go to bed every night knowing that I somehow…trapped you, or made you miss out on opportunities." "Trapped me?!" Lucas exclaimed. "You didn't! We _both_ made the decision to have sex, Brooke, both of us. I knew there was risks involved, but I took that risk because I love you. This baby isn't a product of some fling, Brooke. We made this baby out of love, accident or not. How could you destroy that?" This wasn't just some random hookup; this was the girl of his dreams, the girl he could easily spend forever with if she'd just let him back in.

The air was suddenly filled with even more angst and emotion. Brooke could feel herself beginning to choke up. She couldn't keep arguing with him like this. It was just too hard. Ultimately, she knew the choice was hers to make, but that didn't make it any easier. "Did you hear me?" Lucas questioned, when Brooke didn't answer. Looking away, Brooke avoided his stare. Getting down to her eye level, he said it again, but this time, his voice became deep and raspy. "I…love…_you_. I'm in love with you, and I'm always going to be, and we could love this baby, too. We could, if you just gave it the chance…" He felt his chest tighten as he spoke the truth. What else could he possibly say to change this? He hated to argue with her, and he hated to see her in so much pain. He hated knowing there was absolutely nothing he could do to make it better. Ultimately, he knew he _had_ to take her feelings into consideration. He knew she had already made up her mind, and there was no going back. She was going to go through with this and there was nothing he could do about it. It would only hurt her more if he tried.

**(end flashback)**

Brooke's feelings were quickly pushed aside as she heard a soft knock on the door. Quickly wiping the tears from her eyes, Brooke cleared her throat as she spoke. "Come in."

"Okay, Miss Davis. Are you ready to do this?" The doctor asked as he entered the room. No response followed by complete and utter silence. It seemed that no matter how hard Brooke tried to answer, she couldn't form the words. She couldn't say yes. Sitting there, during the moment of truth, she couldn't give the go ahead. She'd be destroying their love. Lucas' words echoed in her head. _Together. Baby. Love. Destroy. Please. Baby. _Those words were holding her back. Hurting her and warming her heart at the same time, scaring her to death, making her heart race. She needed to vomit. Maybe it was Lucas' tears of desperation, or the fact that even after everything they had been through, she loved him more than anything. Maybe she needed to let him help her, consider that she couldn't make decisions for him, either. Let him. Maybe he had a point. She couldn't save him. It wasn't her responsibility. He had a mind of his own. He wasn't saying those words simply out of accountability; she knew that. This wasn't really saving him, was it? She thought it had been. Maybe it was her curiosity; would the baby have Lucas' eyes or basketball talent? Or maybe the baby would have her sassy attitude and great style? Would it be a boy, or a girl? All of these questions were hanging in the balances, and she really wanted to know the answers, she needed to give this a chance. She couldn't destroy their love—a life.

"Miss Davis? Are you having second thoughts?" The doctor questioned.

"I…I can't do this." Brooke stuttered quickly, as she jumped down off the table, and proceeding to gather up all of her belongings. "I'm sorry." Quickly pushing herself through the door, Brooke ran. She ran fast and hard, and didn't stop until she reached her car.

Slamming the car door behind her, Brooke burst into tears. Covering her eyes with her hands, Brooke cried, her head rested on the steering wheel, her hands delicately resting on her stomach. She cried for herself, she cried for Lucas, and she cried for the baby. She was overcome by a stinging pain she had never felt before. It was a pang in her heart, and she didn't know if it would ever go away. It was a mixed feeling of guilt, anger, fear, disgust, and relief, relief that she hadn't gone through with the abortion.

"Brooke? Brooke!" Haley yelled, banging on her car window, "unlock the door, Brooke" she pleaded. She just happened to be going to the doctor for her annual checkup and saw Brooke's distraught form running through the parking lot. After Brooke pushed the unlock button, Haley quickly flung the door open, and immediately hugged her best friend.

"Shh. It's okay." Haley spoke in a quiet soothing voice as she gently ran her hands over Brooke's back in a comforting motion. Seeing the abortion pamphlets thrown on the floor of the vehicle, Haley panicked. The two exchanged a knowing look.

"You didn't…did you?" She questioned. Her brow furrowed as she leaned over Brooke.

"No, I couldn't do it." Brooke stated firmly, putting her head back on Haley's shoulder.

* * *

Knocking softly on the door, Haley watched as a dark silhouette moved towards them. the door swung open, and a terrified Lucas appeared.

"Hales? What are you doing here?" Lucas questioned.

"Well, it's not just me..." Haley responded, as Brooke slowly appeared from behind her.


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note**: Hey all. Sorry it took me so long to update but my life has been insanely busy lately. I just want to thank my beta, Melissa, for all of her hard work on this chapter. Thanks for being there for me, even when I'm loosing my mind (which has been a lot lately...)! Well, with that being said, enjoy! There's lots of Brucas in this chapter! Oh, and of course, please comment on the chapter and watch OTH tonight! I love Wednesdays! Don't you??

**#8.**

Brooke timidly lowered her gaze to her shoes, ashamed what she had planned on doing. "Brooke?" Lucas asked. He didn't recognize the girl he saw. _This_ wasn't the girl he knew and loved. _This _girl appeared fragile and alone; she was shaking like a leaf. Answering to her name, Brooke raised her head and made eye contact. At that moment an exchange of emotions occurred. Brooke's eyes told Lucas the story of a traumatic day that had changed her and taken away her carefree dimpled smile. Lucas' eyes beamed back at her with confusion and fear. They were frozen momentarily, before hesitating briefly; Lucas held his arms open wide. "C'mere," he gestured, pulling Brooke into his embrace. Instantly, Brooke threw herself into Lucas' warm, loving arms.

"I'm...so...sorry..." Brooke cried, gasping for breaths, her body shook. As Lucas stood holding the girl he loved, he knew _something _had changed. He wondered _why_ she was sorry. _Did she go through with it? Had the guilt caught up with her?_ At the moment, the only thing Lucas was concerned with was Brooke and her distraught state. Shaking the irrelevant thoughts from his mind, Lucas knew that there would be plenty of time for questions later.

"Shh...It's okay now. I'm here. You're okay..." Lucas whispered soothingly as he stroked her back, burying his face in her hair. Limp and almost lifeless, Brooke leaned against Lucas' body. Her wall of defenses had crumbled to the ground, and though he didn't know the details of her day at the clinic, he did know the experience had tipped her world upside down. Attempting to get a better look at her, Lucas pulled away for a brief second.

"Don't go. Please..." Brooke pleaded, lifting her head from the comfort of his now tear-stained sweatshirt; her hands instinctively grasped the familiar, soft material.

"I'm not going anywhere." Lucas promised, hugging her tighter. Glancing over Brooke's shoulder, he exchanged a worried look with Haley. "Thank you" he mouthed, letting his best friend know how much he appreciated her gesture. With a knowing smile, Haley simply nodded.

"You're shivering. We should get you inside," Lucas spoke. He had noticed the goose bumps form on her arms, and as hard as he tried to warm her up, it wasn't working.

"Yeah, Luke's right," Haley added, "Let's go run you a nice warm bath. How does that sound?"

"Perfect" Brooke mumbled softly. Leaving his arm draped protectively around her shoulder, Lucas led Brooke inside. Haley followed close behind; knowing both of them needed the support of their friends and family—now more than ever.

begin flashback

_"Lucas? Are you home?" Karen's voice echoed throughout the silent house. "Lucas?" she asked again. Setting down two brown grocery bags on the kitchen table, Karen proceeded into the hallway. Following the long carpet, she stopped at her son's doorway. Knocking lightly on the door, she awaited a response. Nothing. "I just got back from the grocery store. Are you hungry?" Karen listened intently. Again, no response. Slowly pushing the door open, she let herself in, and what she saw worried her. Lucas was lying on his stomach, his head buried in his arms. Other than a few sporadic breaths, Karen saw no movement. Walking over to his bed, she sat down next to him. "Did you have a long practice?" Karen attempted to make small talk, assuming that Lucas was simply exhausted from Whitey's drills at practice. Lucas' only response was a grunt. "Lucas, you're worrying me. What's going on?" Karen questioned, instinctively rubbing his back softly. "Is everything okay?" Sitting up in bed, Lucas starred blankly at his mother. Karen was shocked to see her teenage son in tears. His face was red, and his eyes were blood-shot. _

_"No, mom..." Lucas stated the obvious. _

_"Well are you going to sit there or tell me what's going on?" Karen's maternal instinct took over as she scanned his body for injury. _

_"Mom...Brooke's pregnant." Lucas rubbed his eyes, attempting to clear his clouded vision. _

_"Brooke is pregnant?" Karen repeated, attempting to wrap her head around the idea. As upset as she was about the impending pregnancy and the fact that her son had been so careless—again—at that moment, she knew the last thing Lucas needed was a lecture about responsibility. What he really needed was his mother, plain and simple. Pushing the urge to yell aside, she took a deep breath to clear her head. "Are you sure it's not a false alarm?" _

_"Yes, we're sure. It's real this time..." Lucas confirmed, "or it was real this time..." his voice trailed off into a meek whisper. _

_"What do you mean was?" Karen questioned. _

_"Brooke's having an abortion." Lucas' eyes blinked as fresh tears emerged. _

_"What? When?" Karen asked, her voice filled with worry. She was genuinely concerned for her son, but even more, for Brooke. Abortion was a woman's choice, but Brooke was only a girl, and Karen knew this decision wasn't something she should've had to make at her age, especially not while scared and alone. _

_"Today. She's having the abortion today." Lucas shook his head angrily._

_"Why didn't you go with her?" Karen knew that Lucas and Brooke's relationship had been a bit rocky lately, but she truly believed in her heart that they would work their issues out. She knew Lucas loved Brooke, and vice-versa, which is why it surprised her that he wasn't by Brooke's side supporting her through what would most likely be the most difficult days of her life. _

_"I couldn't, mom. I just couldn't do it. Besides," Lucas' eyes avoided his mother's, "she didn't ask me to come." _

_"She shouldn't have to ask you, Lucas. The two of you got yourselves into this situation together; it's only fair you get out of it together." Karen responded, attempting to be the voice of reason. Lucas stayed quiet for a moment, pausing to collect his thoughts. Sighing heavily, he knew exactly what the problem was. _

_"I can't save her from this, mom, she won't let me. She won't let me save her or the baby. She's made this...decision. You know how Brooke is, once she makes up her mind to do something, there's no going back." _

_"Like the decision she made to be with you? To love you?" Karen looked at her son for a response. _

_"And I love her, too! But she won't listen to me, mom!" Lucas fought back. "She wouldn't let me talk her out of this! I told her that I'd be here for her. I told her that I would give up everything for her." Lucas sighed heavily as his shoulders slumped in defeat as he finished his statement. _

_"You don't need to give up everything for her, Lucas. The only thing Brooke needs is you." Karen spoke wisely. Karen smiled, as she pulled her son into her arms and hugged him tightly, wishing she could protect him from the world and all its pain._

end flashback

"Sit here for a minute. I'll go get you a towel. Okay?" Lucas gave her arm a gentle squeeze as he motioned to the bed. Brooke nodded, forcing a slight smile. "Thanks," she responded as she sat down. Quietly, Haley sat down next to her.

"Everything is going to be okay." Haley reassured Brooke as she put her arm around her.

"I don't know; it seems impossible. I hope you're right..." Brooke sighed heavily, gently laying her head down on Haley's shoulder.

"Brooke, I know I'm right. I've known Lucas almost my entire life, and I can guarantee you, he will be an amazing da—" Haley continued to talk, not realizing Lucas had returned. Brooke shoved Haley in the shoulder to shut her up. "Ouch!" Haley pulled back in pain.

"That I'll be what?" Lucas asked, directing his glance towards Brooke. "What is she talking about?" Haley shot Brooke an apologetic glance as she excused herself from the room.

"That's my cue!" And with that, she was gone. Damn her, Brooke cursed to herself.

"Nothing," Brooke blurted as she stood up. "Now, how about that bath?" Walking past him, Brooke hoped he wouldn't ask any more questions, not yet. She wasn't quite sure how she was going to tell him she hadn't gone through with the abortion. She wasn't even sure if he'd be happy about it.

"Uh…yeah. Right." Lucas knew something seemed fishy, but when it came to two of the most important girls in his life, something was always a little off. Smiling to himself, he followed Brooke to the bathroom. "I see you remember where everything is?" Lucas noted, realizing that Brooke had quickly made herself at home. She had retrieved her shampoo from the closet and was scanning the entire room. He didn't realize what was really on her mind, standing there in that bathroom; Brooke was overwhelmed with déjà vu. Memories of her and Lucas making love in the shower flashed before her in a rapid slideshow of images as if it had been yesterday. Their warm, wet bodies slick against each other, as their hands greedily grabbed for the closeness they both desired. Brooke had been mesmerized by the way the hot water rolled over Lucas' muscular-physique, how amazing his lips tasted as passionately he kissed her over and over again, water slipping into their mouths when they decided to break apart to breathe. The entire night, like many others, was incredible, but until that moment, Brooke never realized how many little, seemingly insignificant moments she had missed. Sure, she had been there, but she had taken it—_him_—for granted, and this wasn't apparent to her until now, until it was gone. "Brooke? Are you okay?" Lucas asked, breaking through her thoughts. He was kneeling in front of the bathtub, attempting to get the temperature perfect, just a little too hot, the way Brooke liked it.

"What?" Brooke questioned, taking an extended moment to snap back into reality. Her thoughts were still lingering on their previous encounter in the shower.

"I lost you for a minute there. Are you sure you're okay? You look pale." Lucas stood up and stepped closer to get a better look.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Brooke answered and smiled. She noticed Lucas continued to scrutinize her every little movement until he finally seemed somewhat satisfied, and went back to running her bath. Had he always worried about her like this? If so, why didn't she see this before? Why hadn't she appreciated his gestures more? She couldn't have been that oblivious, could she? _He's probably only worried about me because of the baby._

"For you, Pretty Girl" Lucas motioned towards the bathtub. "I had some of those lavender bath beads you like so much, and of course, yours truly" smiling at his efficiency, he moved aside. She couldn't help but smile. The entire gesture was so simple, yet thoughtful, especially since those same lavender beads were what he claimed to be allergic to, but she knew the truth, he couldn't stand the "girly smell".

"Luke…thank you," and she meant it.

"You're welcome," Lucas paused awkwardly, realizing the only thing left to do was get Brooke _into_ the tub, and he had a feeling she wouldn't be comfortable disrobing in his presence. He was okay with that, though. He would give her time, the time to get back to where they once were. "Well, I'll be outside if you need anything, okay?" Lucas reassured her with a gentle squeeze on her shoulder as he walked towards the door.

"Okay." Brooke didn't know what else to say. This was one of the few moments in her life where she was actually at a loss for words. The fact that Lucas had respected her enough to give her a moment to herself, meant so much. She felt like he understood her, and that was more important than anything he could've said. The act itself made enough of an impact. "Luke?" Brooke's voice stopped him before he left the room.

"Yeah?" Lucas questioned intently.

"Thank you….again" Brooke responded sincerely.

"For what?"

"For being there for me. For just you know…"

"This is only the beginning," and with that, the door shut behind him leaving Brooke alone. Smiling to herself, she shook her head. With ease, Brooke slipped her clothes off, and stepped into the porcelain tub. Submerging her body in the water, she closed her eyes. Unfortunately, thoughts of the abortion clinic flashed before her eyes. Startled, Brooke sat straight up in the bathtub, looking around anxiously for a predator she knew was invisible: fear. Protectively holding her lower abdomen, Brooke slowly lowered herself back down into the water. Taking a few deep breaths, she attempted to relax, but it was no luck. She couldn't get rid of the feelings which tortured her heart, her feelings of guilt for even thinking of having an abortion, betrayal towards Lucas, and love she still had for him. Sighing heavily, Brooke gave up on the bath. Wrapping herself in a towel that was easily three-times too large, Brooke slowly emerged from the bathroom hesitantly.

"I put some clothes for you right outside the door," Lucas anticipated her next request, as he continued to make the bed with fresh sheets. "Before you roll your eyes, they are mine so I know they're too big."

"And not stylish at all!" Brooke joked. Lucas quickly shot her a look of playful hurt. "I'm only kidding. I'll be right back." Brooke grinned, walking back into the bathroom and closing the door behind her. Leaning against the door, Brooke pulled his pile of neatly folded clothing to her nose. Inhaling slowly, she smiled. Everything smelled like Lucas, and it was more comforting than any expensively priced sweat suit she owned. "So, how do I look?" Brooke asked casually, as she walked out of the bathroom in his sweatshirt and sweatpants.

"You look…" Lucas paused, giving her the once over, "…alright," he laughed. He wanted to get a rise out of her.

"Lucas Scott!" Brooke made a run for Lucas and the two of them toppled on to the bed together.

"Hey….hey! I just made the bed!" Lucas asserted, in between bouts of laughter. Brooke had found his only weakness on their very first date: his ticklishness, and had begun using it to her advantage ever since.

"Well, you should've thought of that before you insulted me!" Brooke giggled, "which is actually _your_ fashion sense…but that's besides the point!"

"If you would just listen to me," Lucas spoke thru gritted teeth as he attempted to get the upper hand in this fight. Brooke had straddled him and gotten him into a position where he was rendered helpless until he got the upper hand back. "Like I was saying," Lucas grinned as he escaped her grasp and held her arms above her head with ease. Brooke continued to fight back. She had never been one to give up, and this instance was no different. "You look beautiful," and with that, Brooke gave up fighting and lay there completely still, lost in Lucas' gaze. "See, I thought you'd see things my way…" No longer fearing for his safety, he let go of her arms and sat up. She quickly did the same, until both of them were sitting facing each other.

"You…do?" Brooke questioned, simply wanting him to say it again. _And again and __again_. She couldn't believe he could possibly think she looked beautiful, especially now; she hadn't combed her hair, she was wearing _boy's clothes_, and she was pregnant. What was so beautiful about that? _Give him 8 months, we'll see if he thinks I'm beautiful then._

"I do, Pretty girl" Lucas smiled, as he gently brushed the delicate skin on her cheeks with his fingertips. "I do." Her dark hair was a mess of snarls and tangles but he had never seen her look so beautiful. _This_ was the Brooke Davis he loved. The girl with so much beauty and zest for life hiding her insecurities. All she really wanted was to be loved and he was trying to fulfill that wish.

"Are you tired?" Lucas questioned, after Brooke attempted to hide a yawn.

"Exhausted" Brooke answered honestly.

"C'mon, I'll tuck you in" Lucas began to get off the bed, when he felt a soft touch on his arm.

"Would you stay with me?" Brooke asked innocently, her hand lingered on his forearm.

"Are you sure?" Lucas hesitated; he still wasn't sure where her head, and more importantly her heart were. He didn't want either or both of them to regret it later.

"Yes, I'm sure," Brooke paused, biting her lip nervously, "but just sleep…okay?"

"Okay," this time he didn't hesitate. Flipping the switch on the nightstand, the lights turned out. Swinging his legs back into bed, Lucas put his legs under the covers. Brooke followed suit. Their feet easily found each other under the softness of the sheets. Neither one of them said a thing about it, though. It wasn't necessary. They both needed this closeness, desired it. For a few moments, both of them laid there in silence, simply staring up at the ceiling.

"Luke? Are you still awake?" Brooke asked in a hushed tone, turning her head to the side to get a better look at him.

"Brooke…it's been 3 minutes." Lucas laughed, rolling onto his side to face her.

"Right…" Brooke paused, looking back at the ceiling.

"What's on your mind, Pretty Girl?" Lucas asked, knowing damn well her mind was swirling with questions. His was, too, for that matter, but he didn't want to pry. He wanted her to feel comfortable enough to talk to her about what had gone on today.

"Oh, nothing…" Brooke sighed heavily, lying through her teeth.

"Listen," Lucas began, rolling onto his stomach to get a better look at her face. "I know today must have been horrible for you, and I understand if you don't want to talk about what happened, but I think you'd feel better if you did." Brooke looked up at him with tears in her eyes. "You can tell me, you know. I won't be mad, I promise, and I won't hurt you. I just want you to be able to tell me, to come to me when you need someone. I'm sorry I made it so hard for you before. That wasn't fair."

"I didn't go through with it." Brooke blurted out, her voice barely above a whisper. "I couldn't do it, Luke."

"I thought…I mean, I just …"Lucas suddenly had trouble forming complete thoughts. Looking deeply into her eyes, Lucas searched for answers to his questions.

"I'm still pregnant." Brooke confessed, awaiting his response, hoping he'd be able to forgive her for what she had considered; for what she hadn't been able to do. _Pregnant. Baby. My baby. Our baby. _Overcome with relief, Lucas smiled. His heart raced as sat up in bed. Glancing down from above her, he eagerly grabbed her hands in his. Looking down at her laying in his bed, wearing his clothes, knowing how she was carrying _his_ baby, _their _baby. The baby they'd made together—he was seeing her for the first time, falling in love for the first time, all over again.

"I love you...I love you so much..." Lucas' eyes filled with tears of happiness and relief as he spoke those words. "I'm so glad you didn't do it," Lucas paused looking down at her stomach, "I'm so glad." Placing his hands gently on her stomach, Lucas' heart swelled with love for a baby, a person he didn't even know he needed, until he almost lost it. Looking up at Lucas, Brooke's heart soared and a comforting warming sensation surged through her body. Tears quickly filled her eyes, too, as she felt his touch on her stomach. Overcome with emotions, Brooke sat up abruptly and threw her arms around his neck. Once she was in his arms, Lucas held on to her protectively. As the two of them held onto each other for dear life, an unspoken apology was exchanged. Lucas forgave Brooke for considering abortion, and Brooke forgave Lucas for his hero complex. He had, after all, shown he could save her as well. He saved her from making a terrible mistake, with his love.

"I'm so sorry, Luke," Brooke blurted, "I...I never meant to hurt you. I thought this baby would ruin our lives, but—" Brooke was unexpectedly silenced with a kiss. Gently raking his fingers through her hair, Lucas pulled Brooke's face close to his. Pressing his lips aggressively against hers, Brooke inhaled sharply, shocked by his forcefulness. Giving in to him, Brooke kissed him back. Their tongues softly grazed one another and he tugged at her bottom lip in a needy manner. She traced her tongue across his lip in return and let out a soft moan, overwhelmed at comforted by his warmth. When the kiss ended, the two kept their eyes closed for an extended minute, simply savoring the taste of each other on their lips. "Mmm..." Brooke sighed contently, opening her eyes. Lucas' face continued to linger only a few inches from hers.

"I missed that." Lucas spoke honestly, smiling back at her. Kissing her once more on the forehead, to Brooke's dismay, he abruptly pulled away, and lay back down in bed.

"What, now _you're_ tired?" Brooke whined as she tugged on his arms, "That's not fair. I've been seriously deprived of you!"

"Believe me, I want nothing more than to kiss every inch of you, but you've been through a lot today and you even said yourself that you wanted to _sleep_---"

"Well, then since _I've_ been through a lot today, I think that _I'm_ perfectly capable of making that decision..." Brooke spoke deviously as she lowered her face towards his, kissing him softly, her tongue prodded at his lips.

"Brooke, I really think that we should stop…" Lucas attempted to be the voice of reason, as he pried Brooke's fingers from his chest. She fought back by lightly biting and then licking his neck right below his earlobe.

"Oh, c'mon. That isn't…" Lucas' eyes closed momentarily losing sight of his better judgment, "fair…" he groaned.

"What? You don't think I'm sexy anymore?" Brooke questioned, playfully smiling at him as she lay down on top of him, their bodies pressed together. Planting another kiss on his lips, her hands stroked his t-shirt covered chest lovingly. She could tell his defenses were weakening.

"No, I think you're incredibly sexy…" Lucas squirmed, as Brooke's hands wandered to his pants, she stroked him with intent.

"Then why won't you do this?" Brooke questioned, continuing her motions over them, but this time her hand slipped beneath the fabric. "Because," Lucas choked out before he sat up in bed quickly, blood rushing to his face as he pushed her off of him and released him from her spell. Brooke pouted. Holding her at arm's length he looked her in the eyes,

"I love you. That's why."

"And I love you." Brooke responded casually, as she ran her fingers through her hair nervously. She was taken aback by his rejection. "What's the problem?"

"The problem? Brooke, the problem is that you've been through an extremely difficult day and that sleeping together tonight isn't going to solve that—" Brooke chuckled at the irony of his comment.

"I won't break, Luke. I know I was in a bad state earlier, but I still have my baby, our baby, and as long as I still have you too…" she trailed off before adding, "But…doing what I just wanted to…it is sort of what got us into this situation in the first place, huh?"

"Yeah," Lucas smiled regretfully, "because I can't resist you."

"I can't resist you either, don't you know that?" Brooke answered quietly, in practically a whisper, as their faces slowly came towards each other once again. A smirk appeared on her lips.

"You're trouble…" Lucas' voice came out throaty as Brooke's face lingered only a few inches from his, her fingers danced lightly across his cheek.

"I know, and that's why you love me…" Brooke grinned as she went in for the kiss, meeting his lips half-way. Allowing themselves to get lost in each other for an long moment, Lucas supported the back of Brooke's head as he lowered her to her pillow. Slowly ending the kiss, Lucas pulled away, but only slightly.

"How was that, Miss Davis?" Lucas grinned as he watched her from above. Even though it was dark, the moonlight gave him just enough light to see her beautiful smile.

"It was alright." Brooke mocked.

"Alright?" Lucas pretended to be hurt by her comment. Reaching up and running her fingers through his hair, she suddenly got quiet. "Hey, what is it?"

"I just…" Brooke began as she removed her hand from his face. "I love you, you know that, right?"

"Of course I do, Brooke." Lucas' face suddenly grew serious. He could tell she was quickly going from happy to mediocre to upset.

"Good…because hurting you is the last thing I'd ever want to do," Brooke's bottom lip began to tremble. "I just, I was scared and being by myself just made it" she sighs and looks up at him, "you saved me you know, well technically Haley did but you….after all that, if you weren't here…I don't know."

"Hey hey, stop it, silly. I know you didn't want to hurt me. This wasn't about me, Brooke. I know that. Haley, she was a God-send, but I'm sorry I hadn't been there. I should've been…" he paused, "I could've saved you sooner, and I'll always regret that, cause I hurt you." Lucas responded as he lay down next to her. "C'mere," he motioned for her to come to him. Brooke quickly snuggled up in to his arms. Pulling the covers over both of them, Lucas softly rubbed Brooke's back in a circular motion. "It's okay…everything is going to be okay…" Lucas laid there, minute after minute, simply protecting the girl he loved from demons he didn't understand. Slowly but surely, her eyes became heavy, and even though she fought to stay awake, the exhaustion from the day caught up with her and pulled her into a deep sleep. "I'm proud of you," Lucas whispered as he kissed the top of her head, and he too closed his eyes and fell asleep.


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Note**: So, again, sorry about the long hiatus. 

I'm usually not one to care about reviews or hits, but I have noticed a significant decline in both lately. Is there a specific reason why? I already know the direction that my story is heading, but if you guys want to see more of certain characters, let me know! I write for myself, but I'd also love for the story to be entertaining to all of you as well. So hit the review button or PM me and let me know how to improve! I'd really appreciate it.

Also, I am proud to announce that I just posted a brand new story, _Three-Hundred and Sixty-_Five, so check it out and let me know what you think!

Happy New Year, everyone! I hope you all have a safe evening.

**#9.**

_She's my whole world, _Lucas thought for the hundredth time as he smiled tenderly at Brooke. He had spent the last eight-plus hours lying in bed next to the girl of his dreams watching her sleep. Hour after hour, he kept an eye on her, feeling protective of her. Unfortunately, he couldn't save her from the demons that tortured her subconscious.

_**Slowly emerging from a deep sleep, Brooke rubbed her eyes attempting to get a better look at her surroundings. From what she could make out through clouded vision, the walls were white and sterile, and an unfamiliar scent filled the air. A quiet hum from a machine near her bedside beeped at constant intervals. "Luke?" Brooke croaked groggily as she attempted to sit up in bed. "Where are you?" **_

_**  
"It's okay. You're waking up from the anesthesia" an anonymous voice answered.**_

"_**What—where am I?" Brooke questioned, as panic began to sink in. Still feeling extremely dizzy and lethargic, she tried to stand up, but was stung by a sharp tug on her arm—an IV.**_

_**  
"Ma'am, you need to stay in bed. You need to rest." Amidst her hazy vision, Brooke was able to make out a dark figure in front of her. Resisting a strong grasp on her arms, Brooke attempted to free herself from the forceful grip. Unsuccessful and exhausted, tears began to fall from her eyes. **_

"_**What are you talking about? What am I doing here? Where's Luke?" Unable to control her emotions, Brooke began to sob as she continued to frantically look around the room, still unable to distinguish her location. Rubbing her eyes again, her vision slowly began to clear. Darting her eyes from left to right, images flashed before her eyes, but none of them made any sense. Medical equipment, latex gloves, needles. "Luke!?" Brooke screamed.**_

"_**That must have been the father…" Brooke heard a voice whisper from the distance.**_

_**  
"I guess so…" a female voice responded, "too bad he'll never be able to see his baby…"**_

"_**What are you talking about?!" Brooke yelled frantically. "Who are you people!? Where am I?!"**_

"Luke!" Brooke screamed out loud as she awoke from the nightmare, quickly pulling Lucas from a light sleep. He hadn't been able to sleep; he was too worried about her, about the baby, about their life together. His mind kept swirling and wouldn't allow him any peace and quiet.

"Wha—what is it? Lucas questioned sitting straight up in bed and turning the bedside lamp on. "Are you okay? What's wrong?"

"I—I had a…" Brooke paused, trying to pull herself back to reality, "nightmare." Her hands immediately went to her abdomen, which was still swollen and full. Even though she had obviously been dreaming, it seemed hauntingly real to her.

Pulling his distraught girlfriend into his arms, Lucas held her close to him. Attempting to slow her breathing, Brooke took several deep breaths. "Do you want to talk about it?" Lucas asked, once Brooke had calmed down slightly.

"I don't know—it was horrible—the baby was gone and you weren't there" Brooke's voice rambled incoherently as she shook her head. Lucas wasn't oblivious to the fact that Brooke was still extremely worried about losing him, as well as their baby. Her strong exterior might've told a different story, but he knew in her heart and soul that she needed healing and that would take time. For now all of he could do was be supportive and show her he wasn't going anywhere, that her family—their family—wasn't going anywhere.

"Hey, it's okay," Lucas' calm voice soothed her, "the baby is okay, and I'm right here. I promise I'm not going anywhere." Kissing her lightly on the forehead, he held her in his arms until she stopped shaking. "You should lie back down. You need your rest." Lucas pushed, hoping she'd agree. He knew he wouldn't be able to sleep tonight—he was sure of that—but that didn't mean she shouldn't. Brooke nodded in agreement, even though she didn't want to go back to bed. She didn't want to slip back to a world where she was alone and scared. Not when she could stay here, with Lucas, where she knew she and her baby were safe. Lying down, she noticed Lucas didn't follow suit.

"Aren't you coming back to bed?" Brooke questioned, resting her hand on his thigh.

"Don't worry about me. I'll fall asleep eventually. Close your eyes." Lucas smiled down at her, lying for her own good.

Hesitating, Brooke slowly closed her eyes. Keeping them shut, she spoke slowly, "I don't want to lose this baby…"

"And we're not going to. I'm going to keep both of you safe." Lucas promised, stroking her cheek. "Now go to sleep. I will see you in the morning." Seeing her lips curl into a small smile, he smiled, too. Flipping the light switch off, he laid back down in bed. He was going to watch over her.

After a few moments had passed, Lucas noticed a quiet sigh escape Brooke's lips as she drifted off to sleep. He hoped she would be able to have a few hours of uninterrupted, peaceful sleep. As the hours passed he continually observed her as she slept. The way her eyelids gently flickered, the way she occasionally gnawed at her lip, how her chest heaved and how her hand tightly clasped his. For right now, with all of the uncertainty in their lives, the love they shared was constant, and somehow that made everything else seem insignificant, even if only for a short time.

Softly touching her cheek, Lucas smiled as Brooke slowly opened her eyes. "Good morning, beautiful." His voice was music to her ears as she woke from a much needed night sleep.

"Good morning, boyfriend" Brooke smiled as she rolled onto her side to face him.

"How did you sleep?" Lucas questioned intently, hoping that she had been nightmare-free.

Sitting up in bed, Brooke ran her fingers through her hair and put it up into a messy ponytail. "If you're asking if I had any more crazy dreams about my boyfriend and baby being M.I.A, then no." Brooke laughed warily, but then paused, becoming serious. "For the millionth time, thank you for being there for me Luke. I feel like a broken record."

"It really wasn't…" Lucas yawned, "…a big deal."

"Did you get any sleep at all?!" Brooke asked, worried.

"No…your snoring kept me up." Lucas smiled. Brooke's response was a playful punch in the shoulder.

"I do _not _snore!" Brooke demanded, folding her hands over her chest adamantly, a playful pout appearing at her lips.

Lucas laughed. "You're right, you don't, but you do this really cute thing with your nose…" Kissing the tip of her nose he stepped back and smiled widely, his hands resting on her hips.

"Hey! That's just about enough sleep analysis, Doctor" Brooke laughed as she pushed his hands off of her.

"Okay, okay!" Lucas responded, raising his hands in surrender.

Without warning, Lucas' bedroom door swung wide open. "I thought I heard two voices in here" Karen's tone didn't reveal whether she was concerned or pleasantly surprised.

"Karen…hi" Brooke smiled nervously.

"Hey mom, I can explain..." Lucas rambled quickly, "I---"

"Lucas. Kitchen. Now." Karen spoke assertively, before turning around and leaving the room. If Lucas knew what was best, he would follow her, and she knew that.

"Wow, someone is grouchy this morning" Brooke whispered once the coast was clear. "Too bad she didn't have my big, strong, bodyguard standing by…"

"Where is he?" Lucas joked, "I think I'm going to need him to protect me from my mom."

"Oh, no, you didn't just say that" Brooke rolled her eyes. "There goes all of my fantasies—right out the window!!" Emphasizing with a heavy sigh, she flopped back down in bed.

"I'd love to hear more about these fantasies" Lucas' face lowered as he kissed Brooke softly on the lips, his fingers lingering at her clavicle, "but I have to go get my ass kicked." They kissed once more before Lucas got out of bed and trudged towards the door.

"Hey, I need you back in one piece!" Brooke yelled after him. "Well, one piece in particular…" she smirked and winked at him.

Laughing, Lucas shook his head, "I forgot how horny you always are."

"You forgot that? When you get back I'll have to remind you," she jabbed back. "Frankly, I'm disappointed in you Lucas Scott, and offended!"

The door closed behind him and he could hear her giggles as he let go of the knob.

Walking down the hall to the kitchen, Lucas took several deep breaths. The lack of sleep and overall nervousness he was experiencing left him unable to form any coherent thoughts, let alone a convincing argument on why Brooke was laying in his bed without his mother's approval. He knew he needed to come up with something good and quick. Stepping into the kitchen, Lucas observed his mother's body language for a few seconds, hoping to read her. Karen walked fast; putting dishes away in the cabinet without missing a beat before moving on to the laundry. "She didn't have the abortion, mom. We're having the baby" Lucas spat quickly without thinking.

Slowly setting down the laundry basket, Karen paused and looked her son in the face. He was still unable to decipher his mother's reaction. Happiness? Sadness? Regret? Pity? Finally, after several seconds in silence, Karen spoke. "How's Brooke?"

"Brooke?" Lucas questioned, surprised that his mother's first questioned wasn't aimed at him and his lack of regard for his mother and her rules, but at his girlfriend and her well-being. He suddenly didn't know why he was so nervous about talking to her in the first place. She had always been there for him, and he knew that this would be no different. "Well, she's a bit shook up. Haley brought her to me last night—"

"I know" Karen interjected. "She explained everything. She's a good friend to you. You know that, right?"

"Of course" Lucas confirmed. "I know you're wondering why Brooke was here this morning, but—"

"You can come out now, Brooke." Karen's voice was light and humorous as she noticed Brooke attempting to be stealth, standing behind the doorframe, her hot pink pedicure clearly visible. Peaking out from behind the small doorway, Brooke blushed, emerging slowly. "I'm sorry, Karen. I didn't mean to interrupt." Hesitantly walking over to the kitchen table, Brooke exchanged a worried look with Lucas.

"You didn't. We have a lot to talk about. All three of us. Come sit down. I'll get you a cup of tea." Standing up, Karen calmly walked over to the stove and began to boil water. Silence filled the room until she finally sat back down. Sliding a white porcelain cup Brooke's way, she began the interrogation. "So what are your plans?"

"We've decided to have the baby" Lucas repeated his earlier comment.

"You said that already. That's not what I'm asking. Anyone can have a baby. I'm asking you what your _plans_ are. How are you going to afford this baby? What about school? Where are you going to live?" Karen shot question after question at them. The two of them responded with a blank, frightened stare. Neither of them blinked. They hadn't thought about the consequences of their actions, not really, anyway. They had barely gotten a chance to talk about any of this, and the seriousness of the situation suddenly seemed more real than ever. After a few seconds of silence had passed, Karen continued.

"See? It's not as simple as you thought, is it? As of now, your lives are going to change. This isn't going to be easy by any means" Karen added firmly. "This isn't playing house. You're going to be raising a child. That isn't something to take lightly." She wasn't trying to scare them, but she knew they needed honesty now more than ever.

"We know this isn't going to be easy" Brooke concluded, "and we aren't taking this lightly."

"We love each other, mom. We're going to make this work," Lucas added, squeezing Brooke's hand.

Karen had been through this. She had dealt with her pregnancy alone, and she knew they had an advantage. They had each other, and that was important, but she desperately needed them to understand the truth of the matter: this was going to be incredibly difficult. "And love is great, but love isn't going to put food on the table. Love isn't going to buy you diapers. Love isn't going to get you both through college." Karen answered harshly, bursting their bubble of a happily ever after.

"I was hoping I could get a few extra shifts at the café" Lucas asked quietly, feeling more defeated by the second. Were they really ready for this?

"Of course you can. Lucas, I don't mean to sound cruel. Don't get me wrong. I'm going to do everything in my power to help you two, but you need to stand on your own two feet. That means taking responsibility. That means understanding your life is different now. You don't have only yourself to consider now."

She was right.

* * *

Pulling a white t-shirt over his head, Lucas attempted to persuade Brooke. "Are you sure you want to go back to your place? I wish you would stay here where I can keep an eye on you."

"Please," Brooke pleaded, "don't make this any harder. I can't intrude on Karen like that."

"Fine" he gave in, too tired to argue any further. It had already been an extremely tiring day. "Let's go. I have to go to practice. I'll drop you off at your place" Lucas motioned towards the door as he flung his gym bag over his shoulder.

"Thank you" Brooke responded under her breath as she followed him out the door.

Arriving at her doorstep, Brooke turned her key in the lock and pushed the door open. Turning around to face boyfriend, she frowned. She hated the worried look that seemed to be plastered on his face as of late. The combined stress of no sleep and an exhausting afternoon of Q&A with Karen had obviously sent him over the edge. He literally looked as if he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, and she wished she could help him relax.

"What is it?" Lucas questioned, still concerned with her well being, even though he was running on about fifteen minutes of sleep and looked like the walking dead.

"You look like something out of a horror flick" Brooke had never been one to hold her tongue. "I'm worried about you," she added sincerely, running her fingers over his forearm.

"Don't worry about me, I'm tough" Lucas puffed up his chest for added effect. In reality, he was beyond exhausted, but he had to be strong for Brooke. She needed him to be that guy for her.

"Sure you are" Brooke laughed as she poked him in the stomach. "Don't you think practice is a bad idea?" Attempting to coerce him further, she tugged on his t-shirt. "Come inside. I'll give you one of my infamous backrubs!" Her words tempted him, but he knew that if he missed a practice he wouldn't be able to play in the game on Friday. He couldn't let his team down. He could work through the exhaustion.

"I'll be done at eight. Rain check?" Lucas questioned, knowing she'd understand.

"It's a date" Brooke sent a cheeky grin his way before kissing him lightly on the lips. "And I'll be sure to refresh your memory of how horny I can be."

* * *

Sitting down on her bed, Brooke flipped her cell phone open. Finding the correct contact in her address book, she hit _TALK_ quickly, not allowing any time to talk herself out of this. After three drawn out rings in her ear, she began to give up hope. As she was about to close the phone, a voice answered. It seemed foreign to her. After an awkward pause on the other line, she revealed her identity. "Mom? It's me. Brooke. Look, you might want to sit down..."

* * *

"Luke!" Nathan yelled after slamming his locker door shut. Lucas stopped in his tracks, even though he was already halfway out the door. "Wait up, man!" Jogging up to him slowly, he smirked. "What piece of ass has you in such a hurry? Brooke? Or is it Peyton this week?"

Clenching his jaw, Lucas resisted the urge to take him down. He loved his brother, but Nathan had unknowingly crossed the line and that wasn't something Lucas could laugh off. Maybe it was the stress of the entire week he had been through, or his sudden realization on how misleading his behavior with Peyton, but he didn't find the snide comment even remotely funny. "I am _not_ sleeping with Peyton" was all he was able to get out through gritted teeth. "Now back off man, before I _make_ you back off." Pushing him slightly on the chest with an open palm, Nathan stepped aside.

"Okay, okay!" Nathan raised his hands, surrendering, even though he was unsure of exactly what he had done wrong.

* * *

"Hey boyfriend" Brooke smiled as she wrapped her hands around Lucas' neck. "It's about time you got here. I was about to get myself started without you."

Lucas chucked lightly. "You were, were you?"

"Mmhmm" Brooke nodded, biting her lip seductively.

"Then I guess it's a good thing I'm here now" Lucas smiled, throwing his duffle bag aside and pulling Brooke closer to him and kissing her forcefully.

Breaking apart only momentarily, Brooke's lips lingered only centimeters from Lucas' as she spoke. "I promised I was going to remind you just how horny you make me." Running her fingers over his lips she paused for added effect, "And baby, I never break a promise."

Within moments they lips crashed into each other once again, their tongues exploring the familiar territory. Blinded by passion, they pushed their way through Brooke's bedroom door. "I love it when you're all hot and sweaty after practice" Brooke grinned, aggressively pulling his sweat-drenched t-shirt over his head. Throwing it to the floor, she began planting kisses across his shoulders and down his chest and stomach slowly making her way down onto her knees. "I missed this" Brooke spoke seductively as she slowly ran her hands up his thighs, finally settling on his growing erection. Seeing her looking up at him with her big hazel eyes, Lucas suddenly felt a surge of passion surge through him. Realizing how turned on he was she smiled widely. "I guess I'm doing something right, huh?" Tugging lightly on his boxers, they fell to the floor with ease, and suddenly, Lucas' memory came flooding back.

* * *

"Do you want any ice cream? It's mint chocolate chip, your favorite!" Brooke asked, her head buried halfway into the freezer.

"Sure." Spread out on the couch with his head resting in his hands. Feeling more relaxed than he had in weeks, Lucas watched Brooke gather up bowls and spoons. Once she sat down next to him, he wrinkled his nose. "You have more than I do" Lucas whined.

"Eating for two, remember?" Brooke laughed, shoveling a huge pile of the green ice cream into her mouth.

"So unfair" Lucas pouted.

"Speaking of unfair" Brooke sighed heavily as she waved a bank statement in Lucas' face. "We're poor. I'm going to have to sell my clothes—or my body" she added, pretending to seriously consider the latter.

Lucas shoved her arm and rolled his eyes. "You are not selling this body. This body is for my eyes only" he replied.

"Seriously Luke" Brooke whined, "I called my mom today. I told her everything, and she basically told me she didn't care, that I got myself into this mess and I was going to get myself out! They've totally cut me off. We're broke."

Glancing down at the bank statement, Brooke's accusations were confirmed. They had seventy-five dollars and sixty-three cents to their name. Throwing the piece of paper aside, Lucas swore under his breath. No longer hungry, he brought his bowl into the kitchen and dropped it into the sink without care. A loud crash echoed in the metal basin causing Brooke to jump. She watched him pace around the kitchen, running his fingers through his hair.

"There's something else" Brooke said quietly, breaking the silence. Lucas looked up and stopped pacing as he intently awaited a response. "I have a few shares of stock. My parents gave them to me as a present for my sixteenth birthday. I had always planned on cashing them in for a trip or a cruise after graduation" Brooke laughed somewhat bitterly to herself at how superficial that all seemed now.

"Brooke, I know you mean well, but I can't have you do that—" Lucas walked towards her, trying to talk her out of it. "I'll work extra shifts at the café. You should still be able to have your dream vacation." Lucas wanted to take care of this, obviously. He didn't want to deprive her of more than what had already been taken from her.

"No, Lucas, I want to do this. We _need _to do this" Brooke demanded sternly, looking him in the eyes. For what seemed like the very first time since she found out she was pregnant, the reality of it all set in. She was making sacrifices for her family. Unfortunately, that didn't help her from wishing she could've had the trip she had been dreaming about for the last three years.

"Are you sure?" Lucas questioned. If this was going to work, he was going to have to let Brooke in. This would have to be a team effort.

"I'm sure" Brooke nodded, reaching out for his hands. Lucas quickly grabbed for her small hands, interlocking their fingers. Leading her back to the couch, Lucas looked over at her and smiled. Brooke quickly caught his gaze.

"What is it? Do I have ice cream on my face?" Brooke questioned, as he fingers automatically rose to her face, searching for sticky spots.

"No" Lucas laughed, "It's just…you're incredible. You're already making such a huge sacrifice..." he trailed off as his eyes dropped to her stomach. "I just want you to know that I love you so much, and this is the first moment where I believe this could actually work—we're family now, you know?"

"I know, crazy, isn't it?" Brooke giggled lightly as she looked down at her slowly growing belly.

"Crazy is right…" Lucas' voice trailed off as his mind wandered. "How much money are the stocks worth, anyway?"

"At least I few thousand. Four at least." Brooke answered nonchalantly.

"Four grand? Brooke! That's enough to get us on our feet!" Lucas responded enthusiastically.

"Just call me your sugar mama" Brooke grinned, feeling more proud of herself by the second.

Finally feeling a sense of calm wash over him once again, Lucas stretched out on the couch. "C'mere, you…" It didn't take Brooke long to quickly place her ice cream on the coffee table and fall into his arms. "We're going to be okay." Lucas assured both of them.

"We're going to be okay," Brooke repeated, hoping with all of her might that he was right.


End file.
